We sold our own home and moved into the lower suite of my 85 year old mother-in-law's home 2 years ago to help her stay in the home as long as possible. Until this spring she was golfing, bowling and square dancing weekly, a social butterfly and a gorgeous lady. In May she went for a massage for an old back fracture and ended up with nerve damage. Since that time she has had back pain and has gone from the busy vibrant lady she was to housebound and not dressing or moving from the couch. She has had a difficult time getting any pain relief because she is on warfarin so she has on had Tylenol for pain. Physiotherapy has not helped. She is now waiting to get into a pain clinic but that is 4/to 6/weeks away. I finally demanded the doctor give her pain meds and he gave her a butrans patch 2 days ago so we are waiting for some relief from that. Our main concern is that she was told that she should be walking and perhaps swimming and.or using an exercise bike (which we have and we have gotten out for her) but this very previously active lady is now not moving AT ALL. If I don't go up to make her a piece of toast for breakfast and phones her 89 year old boyfriend and has him come and do it for her. So she is pretty much moving from her bed to the couch and back. She must be going to the washroom so I told my husband that if she can do that she should be able to get to the kitchen for toast, particularly if the doctor is saying she should be on an exercise bike and swimming! Am I being cruel? I make her supper and my husband takes it to her. She used to eat out with her boyfriend at least 4 times a week and lunch out with friends almost daily. That was only 3 months ago. The other day when I mentioned it to her she said she had been on one of the medications for her nerve pain (which just happened in May) "way longer than 4 months".). She just got it from the doctor in July. So now I'm beginning to wonder if she doesn't realize what state she is in in that living room day in and day out. She has a TV tray in front of her that is covered with stuff that I am continually trying to clean off but can't keep it clean. It is like trying to clean up after a toddler but this one doesn't move around. Tuesday shewas to go to physo and I went to get her 3 times and she was still sitting watching TV. Finally I had to say are you getting ready? And then she finally realized what time it was even though she has a huge clock right above the TV and I had been up 3 times and mentioned it. She is very strong willed. She complains all day about the pain but shoots down every idea and plan anyone has to help. We have a home TENS which she has been told would give her some relief but she won't use it. She won't let me open the curtains of air out the room which smells like urine. I feel like the few friends and family that do come to visit are probably judging my husband and I but she is very strong willed and set in her says and stubborn and doesn't realize that what she is doing is bad for her health and I believe will put her in a wheelchair in no time at all or worse. I think this thing is quickly going beyond us if I don't get some help. Who do we turn to? Her doctors? Elder care in the area? We live in Canada. My husband is going to talk to her boyfriend this evening and tell him to quit helping so much. She needs to get up, I think. Do you agree?