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My Mom has done as well as could be expected for someone 91 years old, who finds themselves in a nursing home, unable to do for themselves and no longer allowed to see their family due to Covid-19. The facility indicated that the only time family would be allowed to visit with their loved ones, is in an "end-of-life" situation. Based on the definitions of "end-of-life" symptoms I find, my Mom has exhibited many of them already and at present she is unable to make or receive calls on her cell phone, staring at the ceiling, doing something "strange" with her mouth but basically unresponsive, moaning, not eating, sayng she "thought she was a goner" or "I don't know how I'm living" and most recently "I want to die". The isolation and loneliness have whittled down her will to live and her nurses/CNA's describe her as "definitely not herself." I was called and given some vital signs that were atypical for my Mom (low BP and heart rate) this morning and her nurse was clearly upset and indicated she was going to call administration and express concerns about her and she felt we should be permitted to see her. Later, a different nurse called and said her vitals were excellent and that the facility wasn't going to allow a visit. When I asked if my mother had also started to respond, she said yes, so I asked her to call me on my Mom's cell phone so I could speak with her, which she did. My mother was not able to speak but the nurse said she was moving her mouth. We do not understand why arrangements can't be made for us to have some time with her, because nobody can guarantee when she will leave this earth. I won't stop trying to see her but if anyone has any suggestions for ways to go about it, please advise. God bless all the family members who are dealing with similar situations and my heart goes out to the caregivers, who are in the tough position of taking care of our loved ones and also fielding the requests that the administration should be addressing and also coming up with a plan to accommodate these needs during these extremely trying and difficult times.

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Has a physician seen your Mom. Sounds like time for Hospice NOW> That will settle the matter quickly. Yes, these are such dreadfully hard times for residents, families and caregivers. Just dreadfully hard.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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August 16, 2020 time 18:00 Deborah be your good evening. I do have a mother in a nursing home and since this COVID-19 I weren’t able to see her in the middle of March because nursing home where she resides at. Contracted the virus. So with so many complaints that we couldn’t see our parents our love ones March April May the nursing home got together and did a protocol so we did a plexiglass viewing outside looking in. Nursing home Pl. two chairs outside of tables and clean next to some water or two A’s were out there we had to wear a mask we didn’t have work gloves they opened up the veranda had the door Of the veranda is a pure glass from top to bottom. What they did at the end extra thick plexiglass outside the door and inside the door. They made schedule appointments on Mother’s Day before during and after to see Mothers on Mother’s Day they also done this for Father’s Day which was such a blessing you just don’t know. They also provided cell phone so you and Nurse was inside which are individuals your love ones and we were outside so we called in and they talk on the cell phone. of the veranda is a pure glass from top to bottom. What they did at the end extra thick plexiglass outside the door and inside the door. They made schedule appointments on Mother’s Day before during and after to see mothers on Mother’s Day they also done this for Father’s Day which was such a blessing you just don’t know. They also provided cell phone so you and Nurse was inside which are individuals your love ones and we were outside so we called in and they talk on the cell phone The ones that couldn’t hold a cell phone they held for them. After those two parents day there was so much feedback that they decided to assign a person on each unit to receive visit calls for visitation based on availability so I have seen my mother to more times before that but on the second visit they increase the protocol instead of the cell phones they have a microphone outside that would trigger the transmitter inside I can’t intercom box and we talked that way. Not my mother is at the end stage of life and she had contracted COVID-19 virus a second wind it was placed in the isolated area west side of the building for isolation why does visit mother again on the west wing outside looking in through a window but this time it was cell phone. It was a registered nurse there just in gear from head to toe mask and shield and white uniform rompers and gloves and booties and a covert cell phone which we were able to converse with mother on her last coming days we sang songs and pray for her. My last two visit was different appointment yes call and person met me for visitation area it was the person of contact still a wonderful blessing. Know contact when you can .

But what you can do is you can ask the nursing homes director to think about that situation . They schedule appointments 45 minutes apart with 15 minutes to sanitize chairs table . You must arrive 15 minutes before schedule. They showed you where to park . Then some one checks your name off . And take you to the visitation area . They should have an area of the building on first floor of a outside window/door where you can have visitations with your loved ones. And also outside placed two chairs out there for you little sanitizer, Kleenex tissue this was so so wonderful it made my soul so much happier I hope this helped you and God bless you and keep you in perfect peace 🙏🏿
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