How do we approach my 87 year old mother about hiring in home care for her?

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She has never needed care. She's fairly able but my father is having to help her more and more and he is 91 years old. We would like someone to work part time to help transport and keep my mom active. We have found a good person but how do we introduce the concept and thus the woman?

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Hmmm ... how about starting the conversation about your father? "Mom, have you noticed lately that Dad seems to be slowing down a bit, and having less energy for the things he wants to do? We don't want him to feel bad, but we'd like to bring someone in to do some of the tasks he's taken on lately."

I don't know, do you think that might fly -- that each parent would be more receptive if they thought the help was mainly for the other parent?

Are you sure she'll resist? A luxury gift of x hours a week for pampering, going on outings, etc. might be welcome. (Could you talk my kids into giving me that?) Prepare for resistance, but don't come across as that's what you expect.

If one way doesn't work, come at it from other directions. It sounds like you have a great idea, and you just need to get it in place.
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