How do l cope?

One way to cope with the heartbreak and sadness is to have a different perspective on his situation: many elders are in bad shape and have no one to help them. Count *his* blessings for him so that you can see the good work you and others are doing for him. Dementia is a cruel SOB of a disease. Understand that it is ok to experience grief, but never guilt, as you are doing the best you can to help him. You should not ever "take on the temper" as this would be unproductive/destructive -- as you have found out. May you receive peace in your heart on this journey.

I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. He basically has lost his mind. So far my brother & I are lucky our step-mother who has the same thing is just the opposite towards up, docile, sure hope that continues!

Quite surprising that he is not in memory care, we had to move step-mother 2 months ago from AL to MC.

Sometimes we need to step back a bit, visit less, call less to save us from all the insanity. Caretaking is a stressful job, few understand it unless they are exposed to this disease themselves.

Take care of you! Sending support your way!

I would start by viewing as many of Teepa Snow’s videos on dementia.

Here’s one:
https://youtu.be/pqmqC-702Yg

Learn as much as you can.
This forum, as well as individual articles from this site, can help you understand and cope.