My Dad's at a point where he can't talk. How do I understand his cues or signs?

Try asking your dad yes or no questions that he can nod his head to. "Does your knee hurt?" "Did I startle you?"

Make up a chart, lap board, or something with both letters, words and pictures. We used this during a period in which a trach prevented speaking.

For pain, for example, draw a body, name the various parts (such as the knee), and when you think he's in pain, point to the body part and the word and ask him to nod or blink once for yes or twice for no.

Create these nonverbal cues for other issues as well - needs water, hungry (then with a list or photo of foods he likes, etc.).

Add recreational activities - (a) tv, specific programs he likes (b) music - specific CDs he would like to hear, etc. Try to provide everything he might need or want that can be identified by words or photos and communicated by your pointing and his nodding or not.

The goal is to accept the nonverbal communication and find alternate methods for him to do so.

Good luck; this is a frustration situation, but there are methods to deal with it.

And if you or any neighbors have pets, bring them over! Just petting a dog (with his good side) will relax him.

The fear you think may be of you may actually be that of his being unable to communicate and feeling so helpless.

I should have written - shift the burden of communicating from him to you, which is what the boards do. And again, good luck - I hope you find a solution that pleases both of you.