My mom has dementia and when I moved her to AL I did not tell her until the last minute (1.5 days in advance). I did not ask her nor give her a choice. It was hard - she was NOT happy about this but it was necessary.
You do not give any information as to your wife's condition or why you are making this difficult decision. I have to say this though. If your wife has dementia you should look at Memory Care not Assisted Living. In most cases AL is NOT a locked unit and with dementia you never know if or when they may wander off. (If your wife is in a wheelchair this is unlikely but not impossible though) If your wife has dementia you can tell her anything you want but it may do no good. She can not retain the information. What you can tell her and yourself is this. You are going to be safe. I can not care for you safely at home. I can not safely care for you by myself. I love you. Make her room as comfortable as possible. Tell her this is her home.
I can tell you she will probably decline a bit. She will be upset for a while, or for a very long time. She will say she wants to go home. By home she may mean her childhood home, the first home you shared, the one she just left, of for some home may mean "heaven". Reassure her that she is home, she is safe, you love her.
You can try "therapeutic fibs" like these: You can come home when the Doctor says you can. You can come home when you no longer have to take the medicine you take.
My mom has dementia and when I moved her to AL I did not tell her until the last minute (1.5 days in advance). I did not ask her nor give her a choice. It was hard - she was NOT happy about this but it was necessary.
I have to say this though. If your wife has dementia you should look at Memory Care not Assisted Living.
In most cases AL is NOT a locked unit and with dementia you never know if or when they may wander off. (If your wife is in a wheelchair this is unlikely but not impossible though)
If your wife has dementia you can tell her anything you want but it may do no good. She can not retain the information.
What you can tell her and yourself is this.
You are going to be safe.
I can not care for you safely at home.
I can not safely care for you by myself.
I love you.
Make her room as comfortable as possible.
Tell her this is her home.
I can tell you she will probably decline a bit.
She will be upset for a while, or for a very long time.
She will say she wants to go home.
By home she may mean her childhood home, the first home you shared, the one she just left, of for some home may mean "heaven".
Reassure her that she is home, she is safe, you love her.
You can try "therapeutic fibs" like these:
You can come home when the Doctor says you can.
You can come home when you no longer have to take the medicine you take.