All the family will be attending the services, but I’m not taking my mom because it’s 3,000 miles away and I fear she may not do well.

When and how do I tell her?

Your Mom probably has forgotten her sister. No need to tell her. Just send flowers saying wish you could be there.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29

My uncle just died and I have no intention of telling my 95 y.o. mother with end stage 6 Alzheimer's. Why? So she can obsess with something she can't even comprehend?

Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to SueC1957

Marty30 I agree with Pepsee. She may get obsessed after you tell her. If she may ask you just tell her she's in a good place I'm sure she misses you too. Something like that.
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Reply to wuvsicecream

Hi Marty.
Why would you even tell her? What good will come of it? Does she really NEED to know?
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Pepsee