My mother has COPD, A Fib, Hypertension, Hypothyroidism, Gerdes, and to top it off Alzheimer. Also in the past mini strokes. She had a fall 2 years ago and had a Subdural Hematoma. She has never been the same since then. The Alzheimer's is in the late stage. She can't stand or walk with out assistance. She has had a lot of falls, she thinks she can still walk on her own. I took care of her for the last 3 years. I am not a young chicken and it really took over my life. Taking care of my mother was not easy. She slept most of the day. I had to wake her to eat or to go to the bathroom. It was getting hard for me for me to pick her up all day. My back would go out, I sprained my Knee and my hip was giving me problems. Even though she slept my job did not stop. I couldn't go anywhere, I had to give up my job. I love my mother and I didn't really want to put her into a home, but, I just could not do it any longer. Now she hates my. She thinks that she is only there until I feel better. I don't know how to tell her that she is there permanently. She needs the care I can not give her anymore. When I visit her I can see in her eyes that she is not happy there and wants to come home. I asked if she needed anything. She told me to get her the hell out of here. Sorry Mom!
I want to thank the Aging Care Team for giving me information on the VA. I signed up for assistance and they approved. She does not qualify for Medicaid. So I have to pay cash for the Assistant Living.
I just had to b***h to someone. So thank you for bending an ear. You all have a great day.
It seems odd to me that she has late stage AZ yet has enough energy and wherewithal to give you such a hard time.
You can just tell her basically anything about why she's there. No one is happy being put somewhere but that's OK. My mom doesn't really like being in AL but now she's pretty well adjusted to it.
My mom is paying for some of it and my daughter is paying the rest. When the VA kicks in that will be a big help.
Have a good day
The best line I've heard over the years to say when your loved one wants to leave a facility is to just tell them that the doctor says they can go home as soon as they are better able to care for themselves, or when they get a little better/stronger, knowing full well that that will sadly never happen.
Your mother is where she needs to be right now and I'm hoping that soon you will have peace about it.
When mom gets asking the repeated questions about when she's going home, tell her she's living there for now "on doctors orders" and leave it at that. If and when "the doctor " says she can go home, THEN you'll talk about it. Mom can get angry at the doctor. It never works out that way, of course, they always seem to rage at US!
Good luck!