He has moderate dementia. He has a tax business and doesn't realize that he can no longer help the people that depend on him and have for over 40 years.
It must be sad indeed to feel the loss of a lifelong profession. I wonder if some lighter tax work (real or not) would keep his spirit of feeling useful intact?
I once met a lovely Doctor, he sat at his desk, I was motioned to sit opposite. He enquired about my health. He started to write notes. He gave me advice. I thanked him & left.
I was a volunteer in a locked memory care unit. This Doctor I saw had long retired & been a permanent resident in this ward for some time. He lacked insight to his Alzheimer’s Disease but gave me good advice about my complaints!
I wonder if a few friends would still bring their taxes over for your Father to look over? (Unless of course it caused him distress & confusion).
I worked in a nursing home, some of the dementia patients were interesting . We had a doctor as well who would sit at the nurses desk. We gave him a blank pad of paper. He would sit there and “ write prescriptions “. There was also a woman who used to be a nurse , night supervisor in a hospital . She would walk up and down the hall around midnight and stop at each door and very slightly poke her head in . We gave her a clip board to carry . Once she had written some check marks next to fictitious names , we told her everyone was good and she would allow us to put her to bed . We also had a retired narcotics police officer , who “ patrolled “ the hall . Sometimes he told us he was undercover .
Your profile says that your father is 90 years old, so I find it quite amazing that he's been able to do taxes for others this long. I don't think that I would want someone who's 90 doing my taxes even if they didn't have dementia, as I just wouldn't trust how up on all the current tax changes there were. So perhaps you just tell him that at his age it's time to turn the reigns over to someone else in his tax business(if there are any), or that it's just time to retire now and enjoy his final years so he can just enjoy his family and whatever friends he may have left(as I'm sure at the age of 90, he's lost many already). Or of course you can also have his doctor be the "bad guy" and tell him that he can no longer do others taxes as it's just not wise at this stage in his disease. Best wishes in figuring this all out and be proud that your father has been able to do what he loves for as long as he has.
I am an AARP tax aide volunteer and my boss was 96 when he quit doing taxes. He was so smart I learned from him up to the time he left. If they know what they are doing any age would be great.
You can tell him a therapeutic fib that taxes are all submitted online now (TurboTax, H&R Block, etc)... or some other narrative that you think he'd accept.
FYI my 104-yr old Aunt has been balancing her checkbook, paying her bills and doing her taxes all along, but I agree that a 90-yr old maybe shouldn't be doing any unless he's been keeping up with the tax law changes. Doing your own is one thing, being responsible for doing others' is another.
If it isn’t too difficult I like Beatty’s idea if a few friends were willing to let him go over their taxes. Then go somewhere else with them.
My Dad did his own taxes forever , or so we thought. He used to take them to a CPA to check them over . The guy only charged him $75 for many years . The last year my Dad was alive during tax season he was in a nursing home. I gathered everything and took it all to the CPA . The CPA told me that my father was doing them wrong for years and he would totally redo them . He let my Dad think he was still able to do them , Dad never kept up with changes and was stubborn about deducting things you could no longer put as a deduction . The CPA said he gave up trying to tell him it was wrong .
His clients may be using him because he charges less than others. Encourage him to go out on a high note at the end of this year. Let someone else deal with the tax headaches this spring. Can you plan a family trip around tax time? Distract him however you can. What else is Dad still doing that is risky? This may be one of many things that need to be faced with support put into place before it gets worse.
Some people with dementia don't realize they have it. Any chance he would agree to the concept of selling his business and retiring? That may make him feel better, as he won't be leaving his clients without a replacment option.
I once met a lovely Doctor, he sat at his desk, I was motioned to sit opposite. He enquired about my health. He started to write notes. He gave me advice. I thanked him & left.
I was a volunteer in a locked memory care unit. This Doctor I saw had long retired & been a permanent resident in this ward for some time. He lacked insight to his Alzheimer’s Disease but gave me good advice about my complaints!
I wonder if a few friends would still bring their taxes over for your Father to look over? (Unless of course it caused him distress & confusion).
So perhaps you just tell him that at his age it's time to turn the reigns over to someone else in his tax business(if there are any), or that it's just time to retire now and enjoy his final years so he can just enjoy his family and whatever friends he may have left(as I'm sure at the age of 90, he's lost many already).
Or of course you can also have his doctor be the "bad guy" and tell him that he can no longer do others taxes as it's just not wise at this stage in his disease.
Best wishes in figuring this all out and be proud that your father has been able to do what he loves for as long as he has.
FYI my 104-yr old Aunt has been balancing her checkbook, paying her bills and doing her taxes all along, but I agree that a 90-yr old maybe shouldn't be doing any unless he's been keeping up with the tax law changes. Doing your own is one thing, being responsible for doing others' is another.
My Dad did his own taxes forever , or so we thought. He used to take them to a CPA to check them over . The guy only charged him $75 for many years . The last year my Dad was alive during tax season he was in a nursing home. I gathered everything and took it all to the CPA . The CPA told me that my father was doing them wrong for years and he would totally redo them . He let my Dad think he was still able to do them , Dad never kept up with changes and was stubborn about deducting things you could no longer put as a deduction . The CPA said he gave up trying to tell him it was wrong .
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