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My dad has had blood flow issues in his right leg that we have had surgery on to fix 3 times now. The doctor says we are out of options and will need to amputate. He had a stroke 3 years ago, lost my mom unexpectedly last year, and has been under anesthesia 3 x in the previous year. He hates hospitals and has become very argumentative with each procedure. He was in the room when we discussed it with the doctor, but didn't seem to really grasp what it really meant, and now has forgotten altogether. We are still trying to get a grasp on how bad the dementia is. Does anyone have any advice on how we approach the discussion again when we get closer. Also, does anyone have experience with aftercare for an amputee with advanced dementia? To the surgery date.

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How old is your Dad?

Have you considered hospice for him instead?

He may not do well under yet another round of anesthesia. He may not cooperate with the basics of surgery (having an IV kept in, a catheter, taking pain meds, doing PT, etc).

You need to weigh the benefit of a possibly nightmare surgery experience that may cause him to pass in the end (infection, complications, hospital delirium) versus comfort and palliative care on hospice. Quality of life, not quantity.

I wish you wisdom and peace in your heart as you make decisions.
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Reply to Geaton777
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If I were in your dad’s position, I would want you to let me go. I would be grateful that a condition other than dementia would provide me with the mercy and grace to leave this life and dementia’s inevitable undignified and painful passing.

Please discuss his condition with hospice before you put him through amputation and the difficult recovery. Dad might not only lose his leg but also the rest of his mind. Could you live with that?
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Reply to Fawnby
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You should be worried about the anesthesia. You don't mention Dads age. I would not put a person who has dementia through this. My friend had her leg amiputated from the knee down. She was in excruciating pain. Even months later she suffered from phantom pain. Your Dad will need to do physical Therapy. This will be hard if he can't follow instructions and remember exercises from day to day. Let alone being in a strange place with strange people. I doubt if he will ever to learn how to use a prosthesis this will mean he will be wheelchair bound. I too may choose Hospice.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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If your Dad has advanced dementia, who is POA? How well does the POA know your father, and what his wishes for an extended and VERY problematic surgery and recovery would be? Because prolonging the life of someone in this situation may be a mistake, and may result in a torturous and ongoing situation. This requires talking not with a demented patient, but with the person who is POA, guardian or next of kin regarding options.

As an RN I am here to tell you that amputations OFTEN go wrong. There are clotting issues and healing issues as well as much pain due to phantom limb; there are issues of mobility. Anesthesia will/may worsen dementia. My own option would be palliative and hospice care for this senior were I the decider. Many many amputations end up not healing and further surgeries are required. This results in losing limbs an inch at a time, and constant care.

The POA or family or next of kind needs a SERIOUS conference with the surgeon regarding options at this time.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Which one of his doctors is recommending amputation?

Any relatively easy way of getting a second opinion?

You might want to ask the doctor who recommended this " what would you do if this was YOUR dad?" and see what (s)he says then.
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Reply to notgoodenough
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Brigette: Prayers forthcoming.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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You can have the social worker speak with him just before and just after the surgery. They may have a chaplain that will do that, too. For after care I would look into a facility if he is not already in one. With his argumentative nature and loss of memory it might be time to start looking for placement. I would also make sure you have his finances in order, POA or guardianship and a plan for his assets for when he needs to be placed.
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Reply to JustAnon
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Sorry to see that your poor father with advanced dementia has been through enough and cannot follow instructions at this point. Ask his doctor about hospice care instead of surgery.
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Reply to Patathome01
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I would but im No professional advjj I se against you telling him- if he’s argumentative now can u imagine what it will be telling someone that are going to lose a limb
it’s the doctors job with you sitting by and to say it tactfully

do I have access to any charity organisations- in the U.K. we have St Francis ( hospice people) who woukd help ?

can u go fir a second opinion if amp is the only solution

that sort of news can send anyone over the edge
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Reply to Jenny10
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