How do I talk to mom about me needing to take over her finances?

Follow
Share
4

Answers

Show:
When I took over finances for the people I cared for, they were in over their head by about $950K not including tax debt and the county about to foreclose a house because of 3 yrs of back taxes (I paid the taxes and would not suggest anyone else do the same). At that point, I took over finances...no discussion and no option. I took away all checks and credit cards, made payment arrangements on all debts that were not discharged during bankruptcy. Since one of the people filled out an IRS Form 2848, I did not have a hard time dealing with creditors but once in a while they needed verbal authorization. Banks may waive the overdraft fees or write them off as a 1099-C if you make an appointment with bank manager and explain the situation. I made all decisions and they just signed checks and received a monthy spreadsheet of what went in and out.

The longer taking over, the harder it is to fix.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to tacy022
Report

Your profile is blank so we don’t have much to go on. Does Mom have dementia? If so, you can argue with her about her finances until you’re blue in the face and she won’t understand. If she doesn’t, maybe a reality check for her is in order. I’m not good with finances either. My husband always handled the money, like most husbands of our era, and if I ever asked about them, I got told to mind my own business. Now, because I got thrown into handling our finances 5 years ago with no idea of what I am doing, we’re in very deep do-do.

Mom doesnt want to face facts that she needs help. Show her the overdraft notices and add them up. That’s totally wasted money. Explain that to her. Tell her she may as well flush that money down the toilet. Tell her if she wants to donate money like that, give it to a charity...or to you since she’s obviously ok with giving it away. Sometimes some tough love goes a long way, you know?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Ahmijoy
Report

I already did as you suggested and it did not help. 1/3 of her income or more is going to pay overdrafts, which then causes more overdrafts. its a no win situation.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Peggyk19
Report

Well my first suggestion is that you not talk to mom about "taking over" her finances; instead talk about HELPING her with her finances. Become familiar with what the bills are, when they are received in the mail, when payment is due, etc. Ask permission to setup email accounts/notifications so you can see the bills and when they were paid. Call with reminders that bills are due. Offer to write the checks so mom only has to sign or setup auto-pay or you can use a her check card to pay them online. When you pay a bill online, print a receipt and give it to mom. Ask mom to designate you POA so you will be able to take care of her bills when the day comes she cannot handle it herself. Be patient and respectful and you can transition from helping to taking over when its someday needed without any battles.

Once my mom realized how quickly and easily I could pay bills online, she would bring a bills she received in the mail to my house for me to pay with her check card. She liked looking at the computer over my shoulder and seeing that 0.00 due.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to TNtechie
Report
Ahmijoy Sep 20, 2018
Excellent advice.
(0)
Report
Related
Questions