How do I survive mom's care?

I too am sorry. It will be hard to get that money back. Medicaid may not allow the reimbursement if the house is sold. And as Alva said, paying off a Mortgage for someone does not mean you have any ownership. You need to be on the deed.

We should never jeopardize our future when it comes to caring for someone else. So as my lawyer said, we go from here. You need to get Mom into LTC with Medicaid paying. This means her SS will go for her care and any pension she may have. The house is an exempt asset at this time. You may be able to remain in it if u show Medicaid you can keep it up, taxes, bills etc. If not, then you will need to find a place of your own. There is low income housing for 55 and up. A job, there are jobs out there. May not pay lots, but every little bit helps. I have friends, he just turned 72, her shortly. Both work in a hardware store. Lots of Seniors are opting out to work till 70. You have 3 more years and you can start collecting SS. Only 75% but u can collect.

To be honest, you need a lawyer versed in Medicaid. My Mom owned a house when she went on Medicaid. I was a POA and had a hard time selling it because it was run down and other reasons. I was paying the utilities to be able to show the house, I had let the taxes go. I was told by Medicaid to keep very good records but even if I did the caseworker would not guarantee that Medicaid would allow me to be reimbursed if the house sold.

A lawyer may help in finding a way that you can represent Mom without guardianship, which can be expensive. How you can either remain in the house or sell it and get your money back. (There is no guarantee that Medicaid will allow u to stay in the home)

By placing Mom in LTC, you will have a weight taken off ur shoulders. She will get a small amount of money from her SS to help offset her personal needs. In my state its $50 a month. She will get her meals and meds. Her laundry done. 24/7care. All you will need to do is visit. All her needs taken care of. You can get a job. Have some of your life back.

In the meantime, if she is hospitalized and then rehab, you can have her evaluated for 24/7care. If its said she needs 24/7 care tell them you cannot care for her 24/7 and start the Medicaid process and transfer her to LTC. A rehab cannot release her unsafely. And if no one is willing to do the care, its called an unsafe discharge. Do not let them tell you they can help u keep her at home. They really can't.

You can’t fix the mistakes you made in this and for that I’m truly sorry. In your position I’d begin a job hunt immediately, you need income to start over and soon. Your mom will go to a nursing home for further care. Time to look after yourself

If you can afford it, make an appointment ASAP with an eldercare lawyer. This specialist will be able to help you figure out what you can do. Like Alvadear, I too am very sorry for your situation. If you belong to a church, it is comforting to have a church family for support. God bless you.

Well sadly you are learning things the hard way, like many folks on here do. With no POA, you won't have a say as to where your mom is placed, or what happens to your mom at this point. You can apply for her guardianship with the courts, but that does cost(from my understanding)thousands of dollars. Without that, the state will take over guardianship of her, and make all decisions regarding her care. And if you apply for any state assistance such as Medicaid for your mom, the state does require any of her assets, such as her house be used to pay for her care first. I'm sorry you are in this position, when all you were wanting to do was help your mom. Please take care of yourself.

I think that what you have chosen to do with your money can only now serve as a warning to others. This a.m. alone I see families investing their own care, sacrificing their jobs, indeed recruiting their children to care for their relatives, investing their life savings in an attempt to save family members. This is done at the cost to your own life. To pay off the mortgage of ANYONE else and expect that magically that makes a home yours falls under very bad decision making, and sadly not everything can be fixed. I am so very very sorry. If your Mom requires now the care of any governmental entity the recovery from medicaid, et al will likely take the assets of the home. Hopefully there is a will listing you as the only heir to whatever estate your Mom leaves, but you are correct, that won't recover what you have done; you likely will be one of the many unlucky seniors who will be working lifelong.
I am dreadfully sorry. I hope there is someone who can give you better advice than I am able. I wish you the best of luck.