How do I stop getting attached?

I was a nurse and was always attached to my patients. In the beginning I loved it so much I couldn't believe I got paid for it, and often worried on days off that they were not in my care. With time this tempers just a bit, but I would say that anyone who doesn't feel at all the attachment to those she or he cares for is in the wrong line of work. I had patients share things with me they could not share with their own families, their wishes that they could discuss dying with families, their worries they didn't want to burden families with. I think I still suffer from something I was often witness to that disturbed me so much I carry it with me; and that was the occasional instances of seeing families fight and argue about an elder over their bed, about who is loved most, about money, about who has say over their care. To this day when I see sibling wars over elders on Forum it throws me for a loop, and it is the times I am in most danger of being unkind in my responses.
Don't worry about caring too much. Worry about caring too little. I DO caution you against keeping a relationship with an elder no longer in your care, or accepting invitations, gifts, any personal relationship ongoing. That is entering muddy waters. Don't do it.

They probably love you, and you love them -- that's a good thing.

Just try to remember that life includes death, and no one escapes it. That you can be there to help these folks through the last part of their lives is a treasure. You can learn a lot from these wonderful people, so embrace them while they're here, and save a little piece of your heart for them when they're gone.

You are now in a new job as a caregiver. Take a close look at the word "CARE" giver. You wouldn't be in this new position if you didn't care. You are in an elite bunch who have chosen to care for people you don't even know. Of course you're going to get attached to these folks. Probably some more than others, but that just means that you are doing your job well. So enjoy your time with the folks under your care, and keep on caring.

Yes, you can Care but remember you r a professional. When you leave there home, leave them behind. Meaning, don't carry their problems home with you. Do what you can for them while you are there. Thats all you can do. Like Alva said " I DO caution you against keeping a relationship with an elder no longer in your care, or accepting invitations, gifts, any personal relationship ongoing."
You are not their family.

Since this is new for you, I think with time you will find what works for you. I hope you never lose the caring attitude that you have now. There was a time when my mother had four caregivers. For three it was just a job. Later when she needed help again, which one do you think we called?
However, I certainly agree that when you go home, you need to leave the job and concerns for your clients behind. If you find yourself worrying about them, stop. Ask yourself what you need to do to focus on taking care of yourself and your life, whether it be your physical and mental health, hobbies, long-term goals, etc. Congratulations on finding fulfillment in what can be a very demanding job.

Same way I did as an RN, by having a healthy balance between personal life and professional life. Always be kind and friendly and an advocate for your clients. Always give the best care when you are there. When you are "off the clock," spend time with family and friends and activities that you enjoy. Don't make the mistake of allowing your professional life to become the only satisfying part of your life. Also remember that you are not the only one caring for your clients.

Thanks for taking on this important career; we need more home caretakers in our society.

Truthfully, I think it takes time in the industry before you stop getting attached to the people you care for. You are new to being a caregiver, so it's natural to get attached right away. As time goes on and you leave one client for another, and then another, the attachments will fade away........you know what I mean?

You have a big heart & a kind soul. Give yourself time to adjust to a new job and everything will fall into place.

Good luck!

The first thing that popped into my head when I read your post was"
"Make new friends, but keep the old.
One is silver, the other is gold."

I actually had to look it up to figure out where this came from - it's an old girl scout tune (I wasn't even a scout very long, but I remember those lines!) As with any job or other activity in life, we meet people, we get attached to some, but we may move on and over time some of the relationships fade away. We can still fondly remember the good times, the happy moments, but still move on in life. As others have said, whatever leads to moving on from the client, keep your memories, but cut all the ties. It will be hard at first, but over time it will be easier for you.

I'm sure it will be especially hard with some clients, whether they no longer need care, move, you change jobs, or they pass on, but as with anyone you lose touch with in life, remember those happy times. If you are happy and cheerful and truly enjoy your work, it will shine through to them and they will appreciate it! Fondly remember the smiles you bring to their faces.

Also know that you aren't alone. Other replies attest to that. My mother just recently passed. They had to move her out of MC in order for us to visit (due to the virus.) Multiple aides came upstairs to see mom in their free moments, even in the wee hours of the morning, because they missed her. Some came in on their day off too. The outpouring of care from so many who worked there was heartwarming. I already knew my mother was well cared for and loved by many, but the extent of care and sympathy extended when she passed just revealed how much more they cared! Every single one told me how much they will miss her now that she's gone.

As others have said, try not to bring the worry you might have home with you. Whatever the cause of the worry, know you can't fix it all, you can just do your best when you are with your clients and hope to make their day a little better, and brighter than it was before. Leave your concerns at the door when you go home or to the next client (if you have any serious concerns about a client, regarding their health or well-being, certainly seek a supervisor to report your concerns, but let them decide how to handle those!)

Lastly, don't ever lose that ability to connect with your clients. It really can make a big difference.

OK. I apologize for my post. I was pretty much wrong. Sorry.

If you go into a job like this with too much enthusiasm and heart, you will burn out fairly quickly. There is lots of good advice in the other answers about not taking your patients "home" with you. It is a job that must have an element of compassion, but don't let it get personal. Like I said, if you do, you will burn out emotionally and have to look for another job for your own well-being. I worked a similar job for 10 years, and saw a number of co-workers come into the job with a gung-ho attitude of love and dedication to their clients who just couldn't maintain that level of self-involvement and quit. If you work this job long enough, you will learn to welcome and value your weekends and vacations, and will be able to leave the burden of work behind.