How do I sort out Power of Attorney and other legal responsibilities？

By first generation you mean they were born here? That means they have some knowledge how the US works?

What I want to say is...they need to be knowledgeable about how finances and Medical is handled. I have an accounts/receivable background. There were times that if I hadn't known how certain things worked I would have been lost. Working with billing departments is easy for me because I understand how money is applied to accts. How a payment can get lost. I had this responsibility on a small scale and it was overwhelming. With my Aunt, she had money all over the place. It took her Certified Accountant son to find it all. My Uncle would never been able to do it. No one should be made POA without agreeing to it.

I am with Alva, find a Fiduciary. Use a lawyer he will make sure all legalities are looked at. IMO, I would more likely except a lawyer drawn up POA then one downloaded from the internet.

It's true when we use someone to help we should trust him to begin with. Thank you.

My DH and I had, for many years, a 'holistic will' that stated our desires and choices for after we'd passed.

We didn't do an 'actual legal will' b/c I refused to appoint our son as POA and executor. Son is an atty, so it does seem like a no-brainer, but he lives 800 miles away and is semi-estranged from the family. I KNOW how he'd handle things and I would NOT be happy with it. So I insisted it be our oldest child, our daughter, with our middle child, also a girl, as co-POA. Oldest daughter is executrix. Both were asked and accepted the responsibility.

This woman runs 2 businesses and is organized, thoughtful and amazing. She will handle things beautifully and with grace and dignity. Our son is kind of a blowhard (I do love the booger, but he is not who you'd want handling sensitive things).

One DH agreed to OD being the person in charge, I RAN to my attorney and got this all put down and made legal. Occasionally DH will grumble about the fact that 'women' are too emotional to handle things of this nature and I ignore him.

It's time to update our wills and add in some changes. We are very transparent with what we have chosen and expect that our kids will do right by us.

If my son's feelings were hurt b/c he didn't get 'chosen'--well, maybe he should answer phone calls and emails in a timely fashion. AND act like he's a son, not just an attorney with a LOT of unsolicited advice. He is much, much more invested in his wife's family and that was one reason I chose my daughter.

We have no cultural expectations or anything like that. Like I said, DH is very unhappy with the choice of OD as POA, but as I did ALL the work to get our estate set up and all the paper chasing--he really didn't have a leg to stand on.

Being POA is very difficult and they are right not to accept this duty, a legal fiduciary duty lightly. The person you appoint should be known to you, close to you and trusted. If such a person doesn't exist you are better with a Certified and Licensed Fiduciary to handle your affairs. Your first step is to see a Trust and Estate attorney or an elder law attorney to write you out a will or Trust (and help you decide which is appropriate. That is first step. POA is a part of it, but something you will discuss with the attorney. If you have no close and (VERY) adept and knowledgeable person who will accept this duty the attorney, who is aware of fiduciaries as they work in the court system with persons without close family, will help you to decide on POA appointment. POAs have much work, bill paying, taxes, and etc and they must keep meticulous records and files. So this is not something anyone should accept as a favor. When the time comes they will not be able to fulfill their duty.

Freshi, have you made contact with organizations of the same national background as your friends? Search the closest large city for those kinds of ethnic organizations. Or start nationally and find an organization, then search for local chapters.

While an organization might not have attorneys or others who could help, it also might, or might have others who've been in similar situations and could help you locate an attorney of similar nationality who could at least help explain, in your native language, and act to interpret when you and your friends do meet with an attorney.

Are there religious organizations in the area? They often have a variety of parishioners, some of whom might be able to interpret as well. Or there may even be some legal pros in the congregation.

If you're from a Jewish country, contact the local Jewish Welfare Federation. In my area, they're very active. There also are Arabic organizations that are active in the community.

While it's past prime festival time, ethnic organizations (in my area) also participate in ethnic specific or multiple ethnic festivals, and from my experience, there typically are organizations involved for these kinds of activities. These are sources for contacting others who speak your language and finding resources in the communities in your area.

One of the local communities at one point had a lot of ethnic groups, drawn over and hired by the local auto companies for engineering type positions. The local neighborhoods had sections in which some of these folks lived, close to each other. Given the current state of hiring and retention, that might be harder to find now, but it's also worth a try.

Good luck.

Freshi, you could have the legal documents set up where the POA/Trustee/Executor can have access to the Elder Law Attorney when needed. Yes, there would be a fee involved each time the Attorney helps. We have our own legal documents set up that way.

If everything is straight forward for you , you can do all the legal stuff with forms from on line, have them signed and witnessed with a notary republic.

I did my will, MPOA, durable POA, living will , all that way. Also set up bank accounts to be POD, payable upon death. Notarized at the bank. If they don’t have that service , google for one in your area. Your dr needs a copy of your living will. My office had forms for it from the local hospital organization.

Don't use "scary" legalese, just tell them you need someone who is willing to look after your money if you ever become ill or wind up in the hospital.If you are worried they may be overwhelmed it's up to you and to make that task as simple as possible by having all your accounts (and passwords) easy to find, the more detailed the better. And don't be afraid to talk about your finances with those you want to appoint, maybe even ask for their advice from time to time. When my mom lost her vision she needed help to read her bills, write cheques and do her banking so when the time came for me to take over completely I already knew pretty much everything.