My parents Mom 89 - Dad 91 need to rent their condo in Florida because they have limited funds due to supporting their 60 year old son since he was 18. My husband and I pay for their mortgage so they have a place to live. I told my mom that I know you have to rent but I lose my independence when they live with us for 3 months. My Dad and Mom want to cook and Dad wants to run all of my errands. I told them I will go to the supermarket and cook, but they like to eat at 3:00 and I like to start running errands at 1:00 and would never be able to shop and cook by 3:00. She said well we will eat different food and Dad will cook. I said well that's silly having 2 people go to the market in the cold and having 2 different meals. So I end up cooking but 2 times 1 for them and 1 for my husband. I like to cook fresh for my husband.
We also don't want them to retire to their room at 7:00 at night because we enjoy movies and they don't, so we end up not watching movies for 3 months and watch the news with them. Mom said we'll go to our bedroom, until she says oh you don't want to be with me? I was being honest and said this is not a 2 week vacation, it's for 3 months. I just got over taking chemotherapy treatment for breast cancer and went to visit them in Florida because she wanted to see me, now I'm going again after 2 months and then again in December and then they're coming to our place. We travel with them too. She said to me I told everyone how much we enjoy each other spending time together. I told her that's not the issue. Stop making me feel guilty. I love spending time with my parents, it's just that I like to wake up quiet after my husband leaves for work and have some quiet time. 3 months is a long time with both parents and their dog and my dog in a 3 bedroom condo. We have no children so we are quite independant and set in our quiet life. Mom and Dad love their children but we are so used to being by ourselves that maybe I can't understand them. I told her I know you need the money but we support them in so many ways - like paying their mortgage and gifts, calling them often, traveling with them, seeing them and just being good kids to them. I feel bad for having the conversation about losing my independence. I guess I should just do like she said go out and do what I have to do. But I know she doesn't like when I get home late. Now it sounds like I don't want them here. I said tell the truth you wouldn't be here if it wasn't that my brother made you broke. Then she said of course, but you wouldn't want to spend that time with us? How do I deal with this?