How do I respond to stealing money accusations by my mom?

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That's a hard one. If she can still do math, pull out the bank statement and check book and receipts and calculator and answer all her questions fully.
Let her be involved when you pay bills if that is possible.
She might just want to be reassured that she isn't running out of money.
I'm just guessing here as you didn't give us very much information.
If she is advanced in her dementia, you may not be able to convince her. But this will pass after awhile. This website is full of siblings feeling that their parents are being stolen from so it does happen.
It might be beneficial to have a trusted family member sit in with you when you discuss finances with mom so that she can feel more comfortable about the decisions being made for her care and how her money is being spent. With dementia, she will probably forget the conversation but it might bring some peace of mind for you knowing that others know what is going on.
You can also search on this site and find other threads on this same subject and other answers.
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