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This has been going on for a couple years, but up until today, it was small things like clothing, shoes, jewelry. Generally, she thinks we have taken xyz, and replaced it with a different item. Part of the issue is her eyesight (she's mostly blind but can see big things), another part is her failing memory, and a major part is delusions. This morning, the item was an antique wheeled desk chair (heavy). She thinks we took her desk chair and replaced it with a different one, and gave hers to someone not related to us. I took her to look at the chair; there's a matching non-wheeled chair, and they both match an antique desk (all have been refinished). She tried telling me that she can't always be wrong. I didn't argue, and tried to say very little about it, but she started getting nasty to me, verbally. I know I can't convince her (it never works), but I'm also not going to say that I took her chair and replaced it. When it was just clothes that she did this with, she'd leave them out, and I would just make them disappear to the basement. She won't wear anything that she thinks isn't hers. Inserting obvious logic doesn't work (but I don't expect it to). This happened with a ring the other day, and it was OVERNIGHT, so there's no way anyone could have gone to a store to get a replacement, and of course, she insisted it wasn't hers. Suggestions?

Similar here. She has never been wrong about anything ever, and those are not her pants, not her shirt, not her old glasses... people are breaking into her house and leaving things. As they leave, they’re taking such things as her kitchen scissors, etc. When we find misplaced items, the burglars obviously brought them back when they came to steal more. I get an earful. Cannot be diverted nor redirected, so she argues until she gives up and storms off. Incidentally, she talks about friends with dementia, who’ve become paranoid about theft, delusional about events and people, etc., but since she’s 100% fine it’s really happening to her. Not to them. She will not consider that it could be real to others as it is to her.

I have a lab. req. for medical tests and struggle to get her to leave the house. Treated for a UTI months ago, but little changed.

Sorry - no words of wisdom. Just saying you’re not alone in your frustration.
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Reply to Anabanana
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Have you mentioned these delusions to her doctor?
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MrsDeeber Feb 19, 2020
I did a while ago, but I need to give him an update.
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I take my mother out of the room and distract her by looking at cookbook or puzzle books. When she asks where her stuff is I tell her that we had to replaced it because it got wet from the pipes leaking.
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Reply to Only1caregiver
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Delusions and hallucinations are unfortunately a symptom of dementia. It’s frustrating and annoying to try to convince someone of something and meet with 100% resistance. Among several dozen other delusions my mom had, she was convinced the people who owned her facility (who she said was a large family) had moved the entire facility, brick and mortar, to Russia overnight. My stock answer was, “Oh, really?” And try to change the subject. I was “lucky” she was in skilled nursing and I was able to say “I’ll talk to Rosie about it.” Rosie was the Charge Nurse whom my mother liked and trusted. Deflection always worked with her. If she knew I was going to speak with her nurse, she was content. At some point if she continues to belabor the subject, shrug and walk away.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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If you told her the desk was a temporary replacement because the original one needed "repair" would she accept that answer? Does she also have short-term memory loss? Clothing could be "out at the dry cleaners", rings can be "at the jewelers getting repaired/cleaned", etc. I hope you find a strategy/answers that keep the peace!
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MrsDeeber Feb 18, 2020
Thank you! But she probably wouldn't buy any of that, unfortunately. And she'd try to "argue" about it.
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bumping this up
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