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I am a caregiver to my 93 yr old Dad, I work part time and the past 2 years my personal stuff is pilling up due to putting my Dad first. My brother seems to not understand why I cant get everything done and said I have raised 3 kids as if I feel there is something wrong on how I am conducting my time. I say to him I am very smart on how I use my time because when I was in college I was in the honors society and know what is important and to do first.

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Take a few minutes to write down all that you are doing.
Figure out what your brother can help you with.
Make a request to him so that he can spend some time helping either you or your father.
Is there anyone else available who can help?
A teenager who can open mailand manage a few things? Shopping and cooking?
Can everyone in three family be responsible for preparing one meal a week from start to finish?
A college aged child who can pay bills or run errands?
Can you hire an assistant for 4 to 8 hours a week? Can your brother pay for the assistant?
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Reply to Rabanette
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I completely agree. Your brother needs to have his eyes opened by experience.

But never mind the asinine remarks for a minute. So let's agree this isn't a time management issue, it's a time issue. If your personal stuff is piling up (because there aren't enough hours in the day, not because you're not using them to best possible effect) and you're getting worried about it, what can you change about the situation? What help does your father need, for example, and who else might be asked or paid to provide it?
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Deniese Oct 21, 2018
Thanks for the reply...we are in the process of trying to add extra help the problem is my Dad loves what I am all doing for him and he doesn't want another caregiver in the house. But I tell him it is to help me to help you. I have to get my career started back up again to get ready to work full time and be able to support myself when the day comes when my Dad is no longer around.
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I can relate so well. I have two siblings who have been second guessing everything I do for two years. They have no idea what it is like to do the work. I have had to realize that I do not need their approval. I have all the responsibility resting on my shoulders, and so it is up to me to do what is best for my mom and for me.... All I can do is do my best, and sometimes it isn't good enough - but that is all I have got. Really unless a person is actually in a daily caring hands on situation, they just cannot understand how taxing it is at times. It is very hard work, even though it is a labor of love. I have come to understand that my brother and sister have no idea - and they never will. So, as for me I just do my best and don't worry too much about what they think anymore.
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Reply to needhope
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Deniese Oct 21, 2018
Thanks for the reply back...it helps to know others are in the same type of shoes that we are doing for our family. Yes, it is a labor of love and I want to give my Dad the best care ever and want him to live forever for all that he has done in my past life it is the least I can do to be the best I can be in his life.
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I like Jeanne's response! Do it, call bro's bluff!
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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Deniese Oct 21, 2018
Thanks for the cute comment, yes my brother does come out every two months from Maryland to help me and my Dad for a week or so. I always have a big long list of stuff to do around the house to help out my Dad. But like guys are they don't know how to shop/do the cooking and when my brother is here he goes eating out most of the week. That is another time drainer is the shopping and cooking of the food.
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Why do you need to respond on this particular subject to such an ignorant person, anyway? Or how about this, "Oh Brother! Does this mean you'd like to take care of Dad for a week so I can catch up on some things? You are smart about time use, so should be able to work it in, no sweat. How about the second week in November?"
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Reply to jeannegibbs
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Deniese Oct 21, 2018
Thanks for the reply back...yes it is different when you visit and help and then leave rather than being there for your Dad 24/7 and that is where my brother is ignorant in not totally really understanding. His wife of 26 years does everything in the house for him so he doesn't really see the behind the scene of the work that is really being done.
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