How do I re-adjust to having my Mom home with me?

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They want to release Ma from hospice after a month, saying she's not dying. spoke w/ her Dr who said he will approve at-home hospice for her, but he still thinks she's on her way out. I want her home w/ me - so don't even suggest a nursing home - I don't trust them, and do not want them delving into our finances even tho Ma has a life estate w/ our home. The main problem was w/ her bedsores which deleolved suddenly

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DELIGHTED ^ grrr I cannot type
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Ah sorry if the person is bedridden then hoists are pretty much the only way to go. Yes I think most of us in the UK are DLEIGHTED with the name having Diana in it. My mother isn't in fact she furious. Now given that it was Charlie boy who was the first adulterer in that marriage my mum had the audacity to say well yes but men can ...women should know better! Hm so men can .....with what gender may I ask if women should know better? GArage scream coming on I feel - Its polling day here (election time - now tonight is one night I will stay up all night for me I just love elections - mind you in the states you do all the razamatazz too love it xxxx
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I'm not a strong person, no upper body strength ever.
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JudeAH53 thank you for your suggestions. Ma is now bedridden, but I would love to use something to help her stand again - but maybe that is something that will not happen, given her condition. I have thought of a hoyer lift. We'll see how she does when she comes home - and I will ask the nurses their opinion. Even if we were able to get her into a wheelchair & take her outside onto the deck in this beautiful weather - would be so nice. It's so difficult to see her in the condition she's in - especially with the dementia.
Thanks for your caring - xxx to you too! BTW - congratulations to you all in the UK on the birth of your beautiful little Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana. What a lovely name - so appropriate to honor members of the family, especially Diana. We loved her here in the states. We're big royal fans over here, and think that Kate & William are doing a wonderful job representing the royal family. Would like to hear your comments on the royal birth!
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There are standing aids that you can get that will alleviate a lot of that strain but it does depend on whether they can bear their own weight
Firstly chairs that have uplifts either built in or standalone lift ups that you can put in any chair so that the actual lift to stand is minimised,
Secondly a turntable device nopw I cant find them in the USA from over here in UK but it is essential a turntable (as in the sort you find on a record deck) but much sturdier and built to take the weight of an adult. That way you are on support mode only and the turntable will turn them without fear of them twisting their legs and hence falling. I have only found one - am I sad or what doing research on USA sites!!!) Romedic TurnTable Patient Turner.
Rehabmart also have sling and supports that will reduce strain on you and I am not sure whether there is a place you can hire one from but if not it might be worth thinking about starting a lending library of disability equipment through your local community centre or church or even make it a local school project.

Hope that helps you xxx
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JoAnn29 --- My mom is shorter than I am and heavier, so I do have to bend over and put my wrists, not my hands, under her armpits, and lift with my legs bent as you said. I've been doing it for 3 years now and I haven't hurt my back yet. I also always have her wheelchair at a slight angle to where she is -- bed, chair or commode -- so I can lift and just pivot her over. Makes it much easier.
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When helping Mom in the toilet I'm lucky I can get over her back since I'm 5ft tall. The bathroom is just a little bigger than a stall. Not much room to move. I have a slight sway in my back and I think that is my problem. I lift very little since I have my DH. When I do lift I have to hear him say, LEGS.😊
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JoAnn29: Do you bend over by bending your legs or back? Bending your legs reduces the strain on you back.
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Kudos to you - if you can help your mom at home and she's happy there, then that's the best thing for her I'm sure. I hate the fact that my mother died in a hospital instead of the home she loved. I lived with her (and my father) for most of the last 3 years of her life, and I did what I could for them, but unfortunately she passed in a hospital while I was away, and I know she would have preferred being at home.

I don’t have any specific advice. I just wanted to say good luck, and wish you well. It will be hard, but in the end you'll be a better person for it (practicing patience and giving care can make you a more patient and caring person), and your mother will most likely be happier.

PS) Just make sure your mother is where SHE wants to be, where SHE is happiest. For example, I know my mother would have preferred to be home if she could have been, but her health problems in her final weeks could not be managed at home. But my mother-in-law currently lives in a senior living facility, in a private room, special for those with dementia, and she’s very happy there. It all depends on what your mother wants/prefers, what her health issues are, and what type of facility is available. Remember, it should not be what you want, it should be what SHE wants, what makes her happy. I know that sounds simple but some people loose sight of that when they get caught up in emotional issues.
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Happy thats a great ideology but not if you were in an abusive dysfunctional family. It's difficult to respect someone who showed you no love nop care no empathy who wasnt there for you when you needed them most. Im not saying that for me although some of it applies, but for all those who are left feeling guilty that they dont want to care for someone who treated them so badly when they were vulnerable .
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