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This guy has been around a short 5 years. She has changed dramatically. She’s kicked him out several times for stealing. But then let’s him back in. And says he hasn’t stolen anything from me. The day I met him, two safes were taken full of money and jewelry worth thousands. He told her me and my boys did it. The detective knows better because he knows this felon. Yes criminal felon. He got my mom on street drugs talked her into getting a face lift and she was in the hospital about a month as he was at her home going through and stealing anything he could get his hands on. I tried to step in but he finds a way to keep me out. She doesn’t trust me anymore. I’ve called APS three times alls they told me after the investigations was she can live with who ever she wants and do drugs if she wants. My mom can not handle her financial affairs or bathing driving etc. her house has gotten so disgusting he doesn’t clean or do dishes. She has locked herself into her bedroom and lives in there with all her belongings. He’s sleeping in another room. She hasn’t had a shower in a very very long long time and won’t wash herself or her hair. There is mice and rat poop everywhere and the house reeks. APS has seen this they will not step in to help. Because she keeps sticking up for this guy saying there is nothing wrong with him and he doesn’t steal. He also has girlfriends that come over and steal things for him. Mom sent me home with grandmothers silver and all of my moms jewelry lots of it. When mom was in the hospital he put his lock on the door to the room she had her safes and jewelry in. So she had me bring the things home. Now he has found out that I have all that’s left of the expensive things in my moms life and is trying to get my mom to get them back from me. I am reluctant to do so because I know for sure if I do the items will never be seen again. He and his friends already stole everything and my grandparents that they could and destroyed their home. I had to fix it because they left it in the trust to me and mom. Now he is trying to get my mom to sign over her house to him because I have one. She told me she is getting robbed daily. And now wants me to bring her stuff back. She said she bought another safe so it will be safe ha he has every combination to all her safes and there isn’t anything left other than what she gave me. Now if I bring her stuff back I’m putting her at danger . She told me never put anything in a safe because a robber can just hold a gun to your head and have you open it. I don’t know what to do. Everything I read says call APS and I’ve done that three times already in the last five years they thing I’m the crazy one. Mom and him told them not to listen to me because I do drugs. Ha I’ve never done drugs. I was a bus driver and an RN. They did drug screens all the time. Our family doctor knows better and he knows all about mom’s situation and wrote a letter that she could no longer take care of herself and says this guy is bad news because he has to kick mom off his patients list because he found drugs in her system. I hired an attorney a few years ago thinking they could help. But everyone is listening to my mom and this guy. I have doctors letters and hospital records showing mom isn't cared for and doing drugs. I don’t know what to do. For people worried about APS doing something don’t because they don’t do anything to help. They come across as lazy to me. They told me a judge would laugh at them if they tried to take my mom’s rights away. I don’t want to take her rights away I just want this guy out of her life so she can be normal somewhat again. As long as he is there he will continue to turn her against everyone so he can have control. My mom always trusted me until he came along and kept me away and gave mom these drugs. Now she is hooked and she can’t live with out him or the drugs. What can I do. I’m supposed to take our family heirlooms back next week. I’ll never see them again.

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Sorry to go on here but how could you even consider taking any valuables back to her. Please take charge. This is a highly dysfunctional situation and I hope you can realize the severity of it and the need to protect her.
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DeniseMiller Nov 22, 2018
Thank you so much I’ve tried to take control. I hired an attorney that failed to do anything and called APS three times. I have no one to help me. I’m doing this alone. My son called today he lives in MN . I’m in fear she will take me off the trust and leave everything to him which she has threatened before to do if o try and destroy her life so she says. But my son said it would look kinda funny if she just up and signed everything over being APS has been called on her at this point. A judge would really think something is not right so maybe she should. And if she does she’s going to court. I guess the next step is to get an adult protective order in place against him and keep the valuables until we can get her back on my side once he is gone. Right now he has all the control and wants her to sign the house over to him. Thank you for your response you don’t know how much it helps me to get feed back from someone. Now I don’t feel so all alone thank you..
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And to add she is in no condition to have her rights in place. Her returning to normal in this environment is more than highly unlikely and she has been proven to not be a candidate to remain in a house by herself. Is she were unfortunate enough to remain there it is possible she could be taken advantage of again. She is not a candidate for living alone unsupervised. That should be obvious. I had a similar situation with my mother allowing various types to stay in her apartment. There was no evidence of theft etc. but once it was determined she could no longer live alone I notified the few of them that they were no longer able to ever continue to stay there again. She was clearly being taken advantage of and resisted this but we made it clear to her very emphatically that this was now the situation. As I had statements from doctors that she was in danger residing alone due to medical conditions it became a hard fact.
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I think you need a different attorney. I think you need to press APS with the recent conditions as well as her current physical state
He needs to be evicted any way possible. This post seems very similar to one posted recently. If so have you been able to make any progress. You should be able to change the locks. Remove her from the house for the time being hopefully after locks are changed. Notify police of drug activity. She needs to be declared incompetent by all sources available meaning legal and medical. It will probably get unpleasant but then it is more so now. You may have to get very forceful. If certain parties are not complying then try very hard to get to superiors involved and mention their lack of action could lead to legal action. This has to change now. You have to dig in and contact as many sources possible and strongly mention elder abuse and fraud. I feel as though I suggested this before. Elder abuse and fraud related situations are not taken lightly. There are areas of government that deal with this solely. If the conditions in the house are so abhorrent then she clearly is not of sound mind. But you have to really dig in and not let up with as many sources possibe such as legal, police, medical etc. I hope you can turn this situation around. In the best of circumstances it doesn't sound that your mother should be living in a house situation on her own..
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DeniseMiller Nov 22, 2018
The police know all about these people and my mom. There answer is she let them into her life now she had to deal with the consequences. I had a girl removed about a month ago. She would not leave and can’t after me with a knife the police would not do anything until I mentioned she cane after me with a knife. Then they talked to her and she didn’t believe they were the police and screaming help all the way to the car. Bug it took me getting very upset for the police to do anything. Mom has called 911 a few times and they don’t show up. It’s either that he has the phone going to one of his friends phones by dialing * 72 and it will transfer to a different number or the police just didn’t want to deal with the mess. I’m good friends with the detective that handled this guy and the guy that lived there for twenty years that stole my mom’s safes. He knows all about these guys and when he went with APS to the house they turned everything on me. He believed them over me and said my mom was just fine. I do not understand that one. I’ve never met this detective in person just talked on the phone a lot about getting help for mom and he did kick everybody out of my grandparents when they were living down here. But I think he thinks I’m crazy and a drug addict myself. But you should be able to look at my police records to see there is nothing on my report. And these guys are drug dealers and have felonies. I was in fear to go through with the attorney I hired because the family trust attorney is very very good. And these two guys told my mom I was just trying to get her house. Which I explained to her this year what I was trying to do. Get rid of these people so she could have a good rest of her life she was thankful until the one guy showed back up. I think they are working together because they are best friends. The one guy tried to do the same thing to my mom win her over and take everything and the house, until he got a girl pregnant then his plan fell through and he got this other guy to step in for a cut and win my moms heart. She loves attention from men and will go through anything to do it. Believe me I have tried. My and moms family doctor stands behind me. He also is very concerned but can not do anything anymore because he had to kick her off his program to take care as a family doctor for my mom because of meth in her system. He could not believe APS would not do anything. I’ve threatened APS I’ve gotten very very mad at them for not doing anything and they made it my responsibility to get an APO they would not do it. She said any judge would laugh at her if they tried to take my mothers rights away. It is very hard to take a persons rights away. The other APS lady that went to my moms house with the detective also said my mother can live the way she wants to , she can do illegal drugs and live with whom ever she wants it’s her life. I was floored at that lady at APS too. And she closed the case. I wasn’t the person that called the last time. I reached out to detective brown and he sent one of his police officers up to check on mom for a welfare check and he saw how she was jailed in her room and called APS this last time it wasn’t me. But I had contacted them also with concerns but they still wouldn’t do anything. I’m exhausted. I have not slept in two days I’m constantly crying thinking of bringing thousands of dollars worth of items back to moms just to have them stolen. She called yesterday saying she could get pretty mad at me if I don’t. I tried explaining it will all be stolen and she just denies it. It’s going to be on my head if anything happens to her or the heirlooms. I won’t be able to live with myself if anything happens. But I don’t want my mom mad at me or to call the police on me. I’ve never done anything to hurt her and have never taken anything from her now I feel like a thief if I keep the stuff. I’m so confused.
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Two can play that game. Just say you no longer have the items - that you returned them the last time that you were there - and that’s the last you’ve seen of the items.

Put the ball back in their court. I doubt they’ll call the police or do anything legal to pursue the matter - they’re not gonna want to call any attention to themselves from any authorities- not if all the drugs and such are happening as you’ve stated.
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DeniseMiller Nov 22, 2018
Yes I thought of that to tell her I handed the items back to him in the driveway. I thought that would be a great idea until my husband said she would not believe me and know I was lying and I’m not a good liar . See I live in my grandparents house that im in the trust on when mom pass. And my husband is retiring in June we don’t want to lose this house to and be living on the streets. I’m surprised she hasn’t sold it yet so I think there is stipulations to what she can do because of the way my grandparents wrote the trust out. But she won’t tell me. See she has begun to lie to me about a lot of things and she holds this house over my head. I’m the one that had to spend over 100 thousand to bring it back to livable conditions after these guys ripped all my grandparents things off and destroyed the house.. see they thought I’d thev destroyed the house my mom would sell it and then they could steal the money from mom. But she tried to sell and something stopped her and had me move in. My grandparents left all their money to this house to take care of taxes and bills I don’t pay a dime. Her attorney which was my grandparents attorney won’t talk to me because mom told him not to tell me anything. But he did tell me and she told me years ago that their should not be any money out of pocket to live her because my grandparents made it that way in the trust which I am part of. Bug null and void because they died. So she got me to spend the money out of my pocket to fix it so she didn’t have to spend the money of my grandparents to get it fixed back up. See these guys had swat here a few years back because of a shooting and drug dealing going on and they tore this place up. That’s how the police know all about these guys. It’s a very long story and I hate to take your time but thank you so much for your kind words.
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