My dad lives independently, has Alcoholic Dementia (with lack of insight prominent), and I provide to all his needs ie. laundry, groceries, clothes, doctors appts, finances, cash. I don’t believe he could do it on his own.
His last hospital stay from a fall rendered him too weak to live independently. It resulted in therapy for a short time, & ongoing assistance coming in multiple times a day to ensure he is ok, medication taken, fed. He declines to continue his excercise, declines any hygiene help from them & wears Depends. It’s starting to show. He can move within the condo but finds it an effort to even get up to go to the bathroom.
He knows we have a deposit down on a luxury retirement home ready for occupancy in 2020- he agreed to the deposit. My dad is in good shape financially, loves his luxury condo, and says he’ll die before he goes anywhere else.
I need tips on how to convince him to go into the home when it’s ready. He says he will not go into a home because I want him too. I’ve taken him to a similar one for a tour (that has a deposit as well), I’ve told him I’m 60 and it’s taking it’s toll on me physically & mentally (he’s very demeaning, negative, & demanding). I have osteoarthritis, a fused ankle, & dealing with my dad is very emotional for me. I am shortening my visit time, and seeing a social worker for guidance. Other people encourage him to try retirement homes.
Any tips on how to get him there by occupancy date with his agreement? I’ve started to have more serious conversations about it -he’ll be 90, I can’t do this forever with my health, it’s closer to me & I can be there more often (5 min. away), it’s hard on me. (He has bowel/bladder issues that require cleanup with carpeting) He answers with - it’s too expensive, I have everything I need here; he can do it himself & wants to live off Nutrasystem; he can go to the store himself etc (he cannot).
Have you been there? Any tips?
The doctors say it may take a broken hip or other to make the decision for him and I don’t want that to happen.
As the timelines draw near I need a game plan but not sure there will be one that will help.