My husband and I have been caring for both my parents in our home since Dec 2020. My father passed away on Christmas day this past year. My husband and I are going on a much needed 3 wk vacation after driving my 80 year old mom with parkinsons and early stage dementia to my brother in another state. I feel slightly overwhelmed at trying gather everything she needs to take. Especially medications as she is on a lot. What if she runs out of meds or something happens while she is away? My brother who will be responsible for her while she is gone has not lived with her 24/7 and has not "learned her". I think my detailed controlling nature is struggling also knowing all the things that could go wrong.
She needs this trip as much as we do...to see other family that she hasn't seen since we moved them here.
ANY suggestions for organizing things will be appreciated.
One other detail...we will be driving her there and they will be driving her back.
Pill bottles
items sent with her
Dr. instructions
foods she likes to eat
clothes and shoes she uses
brands of supplies
what her purse looks like
any and everything that having a visual identification would be useful
so on and so forth
That way if any items run out (meds especially), the information is readily available to just show the photo and get more. Even insurance details, medicare cards, ID's can be photographed if you feel comfortable doing so.
Give a copy and keep a copy with you. Then you both can reference it only if necessary.
Enjoy, relax and refresh!
I really recommend keeping a note pad with you and writing down everything you give her, use for her or she asks for. Then coordinator with your brother the items they have and what you need to bring. Give him a list of every non disposable item you send with her, this will ensure it comes home with her.
Mostly, let go and enjoy your trip. Nobody will take care of her like you, it's okay, she will be okay, being taken care of is being taken care of, it doesn't have to be like you do it to be good. Enjoy your respite!
In this Word document, you should include mom's schedule; what time she eats, sleeps, days she showers, etc. As much info as you can provide your brother would be most helpful especially since men's minds do not work like women's!! Expect him NOT to do things the way YOU do things, and let go of the notion entirely. Expect mom to be disoriented and out of sorts while she's gone, too, b/c elders with dementia of any kind don't ordinarily do super well with change in general.
Include mom's favorite foods/allergies and other things you think are important to note for your brother in your Word document. Pack a week to 10 days worth of clothes for mom and your brother can do wash. If she wears incontinence briefs, I'd pack enough to last her at least 2 weeks, preferably the entire trip just in case finding the exact type she likes becomes an issue. Pack her toiletries and creams/lotions/potions/ointments as well.
Then go on your vacation and have FUN! Don't expect things to go perfectly while you're gone and you'll be able to relax and enjoy yourself. And so will mom. Your brother will have a whole new respect for ALL you do when you return!! I promise.