How do I manage her eating habits?

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She forgets that she has had coffee and keeps asking for more which is deterrent to her health. Because of her forgetfulness, she keeps on asking for more coffee and claims that she has not had at all. what to do? Finds fault all the time and wants to be left at her husband's place.
who has passed away

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Ever try Roma, instant roasted grain beverage. I am a coffee drinker and can get easily addicted to it so I cut it with Roma. You can drink Roma all day. Also try a cup of hot chocolate. I like chocolate Almond milk. You have to find Roma in a health food store like Whole Foods or locally health food store. Other coffee substitutes are ok. You can make the first cup full caffeinated or cut with a little Roma. Roma has a nice mellow roasty taste. It's made from roasted Barley, Roasted Malt Barley, roasted Chicory, and roasted rye.

Teas offer a fun alternative: there are so many flavors, herb teas for every need and mood. I too think that making a cup of something hot is comforting and adds something special to whatever you are doing.
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Structure.

Breakfast could include coffee, but just half a cup. You can divide her coffee intake into three or four 1/2 cups per day, and I'd go with Decaf (she won't know the difference) only because caffeine will cause dehydration, esp in hot weather. So, if you've got 6 oz cups, that's 3 oz each meal, which is 9 oz of coffee. And if it's decaf, then it basically 9 oz of water.

I'd also give her some water in a cup near where she sits during the day.

At rehab/nursing home care, there is routine. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner. At all thee meals, coffee is available. So, that's three cups a day. During the day, iced water is at the side of the person.

Liquid is important because you don't want dehydration to set in.

Also, just because a person with dementia is asking for something, doesn't mean they want it. It's the disease, not the person.

You must also recognize that she has dementia--i.e., her brain function will not get better. If she's asking because you're limiting her to that one cup a day, I see no need to do that. She's at the end of her life, she has very little to enjoy.

This is not easy. I believe there's a lot more going on here than just the coffee. You may want to re-evaluate your reasons for caring for her and start thinking about alternatives. Someone who keeps forgetting they had something to drink may be too hard to care for on your own. And if she's finding fault with everything, well, that's not easy to deal with either.
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I think the jury seems to be out about whether decaf coffee is hard on GERD. Is that what your concern is, gomathi? What symptoms does she experience with a second cup of coffee?
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OK, freqflyer, you got me. I knew that in the back of my mind, but didn't remember. MIL takes a daily omeprazole pill for reflux and also because she takes so much OTC pain relievers.
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Is there a medical reason for her not to drink coffee? I'm biased here as I love my coffee. Is she only allowed one cup a day? Would she drink a coffee substitute like chicory instead? Is the problem the caffeine or the fact that it is a diuretic? Would she like a warm cup of herbal tea? Sometimes it is just comforting to hold onto and sip a warm mug of......? Celestial Teas makes some really good herbal teas and she would have that warm and comforting mug to hold on to.
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If someone has acid reflux or GERD, it is in their best interest to limit the number of cups of coffee.
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More than one cup of coffee isn't good for Granny ... says who? What is it bad for? If too much caffeine makes her jittery or keeps her from sleeping, switch to de-caf after the first cup. If it makes her want to pee more often, there is nothing wrong with that unless she has great difficulty navigating to the bathroom.

This poor dear old woman has dementia. There are so many losses in her life -- critical, major, heart-breaking losses -- that you'd better have an awfully serious reason for adding one more.

She wants coffee. Give her coffee.

If you have a strong reason she should be limited please explain it to us.
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Hot drinks are good for the "elimination" and constipation is a very big problem with the elderly due to medicines, lack of exercise, and just general aging. I am not a coffee drinker, but I'm not aware of any detriment to drinking coffee even all day long. Many of my family members do. Some of them switch to decaffeinated in the afternoon. Coffee is a diuretic, meaning it will make you go to the bathroom more often, so that you need to drink other fluids too, but so are tea and soft drinks.

So what are the health concerns you have about coffee? Maybe I will learn something new! It's admirable that you want your grandmother to consume a healthy diet, but you don't want to battle constantly, either. Believe me when I tell you, if you are strung too tightly, you will burn out quicker.
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The hard part about dementia, when my dad gradually declined into it, is that no one educates families on what to expect and how to deal with it. We were at our wits end trying to handle him, with no help from his doctors. (I think his PCP thought we were making up the stories we told him.) This website/forum has been the best thing for letting us know we are not alone, and for giving helpful advice to get us through the day. Dad was finally moved into memory-care assisted living (we had to trick him) which gave us peace of mind that he was okay and not wandering the streets. Please take care of yourself, and understand that you are not alone, and there is help here!
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Something else you can do is make the coffee decaf. Better yet, see if she'll drink some cold water instead. She is probably wanting the pleasure of drinking the cup of coffee, rather than the coffee itself.
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