How do I know when someone is deteriorating too quickly?
My mom is 84 and has always been very sharp. She lived alone until she was 80 and has been selfish and self centered her entire life. My sister wants nothing to do with her and she has lived with us for the last 4 years. She has an apartment off our garage that she spends most of her time in and comes in the house for dinner and in the mornings to share all of her TV shows with me or tell me what she saw the neighbors doing the previous day. Mom has zero interest in any activities outside the home and if pushed to do something will come down with uncontrollable diarrhea...this is something she has done my entire adult life. She has claimed two jobs in the house. One is doing the laundry which takes place right outside her bedroom door so she doesn't have to leave the TV for very long and the other is feeding all the family dogs. She will NOT do any other housework and will only help prepare a meal if pressed. Lately she is mumbling/almost incoherent at times and rambles on with a pointless story. She cannot hear, I am sure, says she cannot see although she just had cataract surgery a year ago and I am concerned that her mental state is starting to go. I am noticing little things like she gets food on herself when she eats sometimes, she doesn't always seem to know that what she sees on TV is not real, but then sometimes she does. Her finances are beginning to become a mess as I am seeing more and more credit card bills coming in the mail. Is this the beginning of normal aging or should I see her doctor?
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I knew something was very wrong at Easter this year when my mother was spilling food all over herself. She dropped her knife twice and then knocked over her water glass. But the food mess concerned me most. Turns out she had a stroke which was found via CT scan when she was hospitalized in May for pneumonia. Vision changes can also be indicative of stroke. My mother also says she can't remember if something actually happened or she dreamt it. Your mom could be going down the dementia highway or she could have suffered a stroke, based on the behavior you are describing. If possible, get her to the doc and suggest a CT scan. She can also be given a cognition test which includes the clock test in order to establish a baseline for her at this time. My mom scored an 18 out of 30 being the highest when first tested in 2016 and now scored a 10 this May. She's in memory care as a result.
Best of luck to you......this is tough stuff, I know
One my HUGE frustrations with my sibs is that I KNOW mother has dementia and since I have (until very recently) been involved in her care, have noticed the definite slip slide.....the other sibs see/talk to her for 15 minutes a month, maybe and she can showboat that long.
IMHO, people just more like themselves as time goes on, Sweet people get sweeter, ornery ones get more grouchy.
Glad she's not driving!
That's enough for now. Check back for more suggestions when you've gotten the initial medical and legal stuff in process. Good luck!