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My mom only received hospice during the last week of her life. I wish it had been sooner.

She had cancer and was dealing with so much pain that hospice would have probably made her more comfortable. They did give her morphine that we agreed to which put her into a coma and allowed her to pass.

She told the hospice she didn't want to linger on and suffer. She was afraid of suffering and was afraid of causing me harm since I was caring for both her and my grandma at the same time although I would have done it forever if I only had the chance to be with her.

Hospice was supportive when called but weren't around much. Mom died with me holding her hand but I had no hospice around despite the calls I had placed. They did provide pain management helped with her getting a hospital bed, humidifier, a mucus sucking machine, and any and all medicines she needed. They allowed her to come home and be with her family the last few days of her life rather than going to a rehab facility to die. I will always be grateful for that.
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I'm so thankful for the hospice care for the five weeks before my husband died. It greatly improved his quality of life at the end. I moved some furniture out of our bedroom so the hospital bed he slept in (which he loved!) was 4' from our bed where I slept -- enough room for a wheel chair, etc. I told the nurse one drug that had a good chance of making symptoms worse and they left it out of the kit they provide. He was not in a lot of pain and they did not drug him for that. There was a drug for anxiety and I controlled when to give that. He developed the beginning of a bed sore and the nurse immediately got him a special mattress pad and taught me how to care for the sore. He had trouble swallowing and fluid accumulated in his mouth. The nurse ordered a patch to put behind his that dried his mouth and he was MUCH more comfortable. (She warned it might make it too dry. It didn't, but the nature of the process is trial and error.) The reading materials they provide were helpful in letting me know what to expect. The nurse and the social worker were very supportive of me and kept telling me what a good job I was doing. Toward the end he had trouble peeing and a belly ache. Nurse brought in a sterile catheter kit from her car and applied it, giving him instant relief. I had a question about it the next day and I called the 24/7 hospice line and got it answered by the nurse on duty.

We had discussed all the arrangements in advance, so when he died (in familiar surroundings, holding my hand) I made one call to hospice and they arranged for the body pickup and notifying the appropriate agency for the death certificate.

I highly recommend hospice care for anyone in the final stage of a terminal condition.
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Okay, reading from these post has me concern for is their any good to having hospice coming to the house for my mil?
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When my mom's body finally succumbed to cancer, dad called in Hospice. He chose a private company instead of going through the county. Best decision we made as a family, was using this Hospice group. It took a few nurses, but we found one that all of us loved, and requested her from then on. Now mom wasn't on Hospice very long before she died, but this gal didn't just drug mom up. She did use drugs at first, but when we all didn't like the side effects of how it made mom feel, she stopped them and tried something else. Point is, she listened and worked with dad and us kids to find the best solution for mom. I think it's the first thing that all Hospice does, is to drug the patient so they won't feel pain. But the drugs that they automatically go to, cause hallucinations etc. and the family has to be the one that puts a stop to it. The whole point of Hospice was to make mom more comfortable before she died, because that was inevitable. But our accepting those drugs and the way they were negatively affecting mom, was our responsibility. My dad used to sleep with one hand hanging onto my mom's nightgown so that she wouldn't try to get up without his help. The drugs caused her to do that, and that had to stop.
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I will never go to hospice again,my mother put my father in hospice for he had cancer.All hospice did was keep him in a drug coma,After 2 days they come in and ask my mom if she wanted them to make it easy,she said yes then they shot him full of something and he came up for one breath and died.I hate my mother for doing this to my dad he was only 73.
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Technically, hospice can come in when it appears that a person has six months to live. Some people go on and off hospice several times.
Most people say, after they get hospice care for their loved one, that they wish they hadn't waited so long. If you have a loved one who is terminal, a good hospice can help your loved one and the whole family.
Take care,
Carol
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