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He’s lived with me for many years before being diagnosed with dementia 5 years ago. We’ve had full time care for him for 6 months now she can no longer provide this service and we cannot afford to continue at home care. He’s lucid but needs help with bathing, dressing, eating, walking etc. He does not have any other medical health issues.

The best facility is one that is closest to where you live and when you tour the place it doesn’t smell bad or look dirty ..you still have to advocate for your dad, however. Get a PRI from a place like Visiting Nurse Service and present it to admissions.

Good luck & hugs 🤗
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Reply to CaregiverL
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Your dad should be living in a personal care home . I am sorry, but he's going to continue declining.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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lostdaughter17: Most likely he requires memory care.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Yes he has medical issues, he can't care for himself anymore. I'm sorry, this journey is just starting. I honestly can't say that he's safely taken care of with you or he can be a legally taken guardianship of the state and be better off with the system. This is what many children go through. You do what needs to be done. Affordability is not there, you seek other ways. You might have to relinquish all your rights to place your loved one, it's either that or everything you worked for goes away. You think they want you in debt? You don't realize that they never thought of that when they made a will? They didn't, they wanted everything to go to you but didn't understand the cost. You do what suits you. I can't judge or change your decision. I'm glad you're looking for information. I can say,they never imagined that anything they wanted could effected us so deeply. ❤️
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Reply to JuliaH
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My mom's memory care facility assists residents with all those things. My mom can eat by herself, but needs help with the rest. They do not accept Medicaid, so we pay privately out of mom's savings.
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Reply to JustAnon
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One thing I have learned is that there are 2 types of Assisted Living facilities and the main difference involves the residents ability to ambulate and follow directions. Type A: able to ambulate independently and follow directions in an emergency. Type B requires assistance with one or both. Often folks can age in place once in assisted living but if they have to be hospitalized and their function declines, the facility has to decline to accept them back. Always good to find a place with various levels of care if you can so your loved one can move through the stages if needed. Hope this helps.
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Reply to cayersformusic
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Find a facility and the marketing director will ask you questions to figure where he fits. Do this in 3 places as you can obtain prices for rent
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Reply to MACinCT
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RainbowHeart Sep 10, 2025
THIS is the answer I followed for my dad before he came home after a stroke - some facilities have multiple "floors" where the resident can move when their needs change. I recommend this if practical. The facility my dad was in changed quite a bit. My mom and I visited late last year and they have their "memory care" in the general public, few medical nurses, lots of care givers who "redirect" the memory patients as needed. It was fabulous to see. Their division was by physical capabilities.
When my mom and I visited they "got" that the memory was the biggest issue and I was able to "correct" with the staff without letting my mother know what was really happening. Example, we arrived and my mother said "this is where my dad stayed" and I mouthed "my dad" and pointed to myself. I stood behind my mother and would nod or shake my head as the director glanced at me for confirmation. THEN in the office, the director showed me the computer screen of assessment while a caregiver distracted my mother. OH I wish she had agreed to go without my dad! It would have been a lovely place for her and my dad could have visited everyday. Instead she chose the "lonely" spot at home with my dad until her passing.
Point - go look, ask questions, see at least three for cost and feel; you have done some care, so be aware and open to what they are showing you and what they are NOT showing you. Look at "A Place for Mom" .
Prayers on your search
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You discuss with his MD.
You go to facilities and speak to the administrator and ask based on his needs.

Gena / Touch Matters
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Reply to TouchMatters
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Memory Care.
they will help with all the ADL's
they will try to keep him active, engaged with other residents.
If dad is a Veteran he may qualify for some help from the VA. It could be a little help or a LOT depending on where and when he served. Contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission they can help figure out what benefits he may be entitled to. (the VA may also pay you to provide care for him)
There are also Veterans Medical Foster Homes. A Veteran moves into a home and is cared for by the homeowner. The home and people have been checked, approved and the people trained to care for Veterans and a variety of medical conditions. The cost is less than a facility.
Also Medicare recently started a program called GUIDE and it also provides some financial support to pay for caregivers "respite" it is not a lot $2500 a year. There are also other benefits to GUIDE. (participant can not be on Hospice though)
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Reply to Grandma1954
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You can have Office Of Aging come out and evaluate him. But I agree, Dad needs a longterm care facility. Assisted Livings and Memory cares are not eqipped to care for him.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Have him evaluated by a continuum of care facility that provides independent living, assisted living, and then memory care. They'll advise where he should be.

I'd recommended memory care if at all possible. My husband is in memory care. They bathe, dress, feed him one-on-one, play games with him, assist with his mobility needs, and he can stay there until the end. He socializes, enjoys group activities, and the interaction with his aides is priceless. He gets haircuts there, a podiatrist, has had various types of therapies, and is living his best life. I can be there with him as much and as often as I like.

I wish you luck in finding the perfect place.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Since it sounds like your dad can no longer do basic ADL's then he may have to be placed in a skilled nursing facility. They will tell you if he qualifies for their care.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Most senior facilities have multiple levels of care. And sometimes different criteria for each level. Pick a few you might be interested and schedule tours. During the tour they will talk with you about his specific needs and which of their options seems best suited. When you’re ready to move him they will also send their own person to meet with him and make their final assessment of level of care.
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Reply to Slartibartfast
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