82 year old mom in skilled nursing home has congestive heart failure, copd and moderate dementia ... she was living with me, walked unassisted short distances, up and down stairs, bathed, dressed and fed herself.
Went to spend holidays with brother’s family in November 2018. Caught cold, turned to pneumonia was hospitalized. Left hospital to nursing home for rehab on December 2nd. Back and forth with recovery, symptoms of pneumonia lingered eventually cleared but mom was too weak to come home.
We decided she would need to stay in facility since was not back to her previous abilities and we felt we weren’t able to provide adequate care...
In late December we started the process of getting her on Medicaid. She was moved to a long term care wing of facility, all forms of physical therapy stopped and she has been declining rapidly.
When I spoke with nursing staff was told they cannot force her to get out of bed and move, change clothes go to dining room etc.
She is now to the point of wearing diapers and barley able to answer questions, just extremely weak and losing weight, has low iron and is dehydrated. They sent urinalysis to be checked for UTI on Friday waiting for results.
The staff is always polite and seems competent most of the time. They come quickly when we press call button, her meals are on time etc... but I just can’t stop thinking she shouldn’t be declining so quickly. Are my concerns warranted or is it normal progression of her diseases and my guilt?
We have a care meeting on Thursday and I’m looking for advice on how to address my concerns.
Thanks for reading all of this.
Kathy the guilt filled daughter...