My grandmother is 96 and has always been in amazing health only taking blood pressure medicine and Tylenol. Last year she had a perforated bowel and the doctors performed surgery. It was an intense procedure from which she has never fully recovered. She was miserable during her recovery and began moaning and crying almost constantly. When she finally recovered to the point of being back in her home with caregivers she mostly stopped. She has always been able to carry on a conversation and although diagnosed with late onset dementia (aka old age) she always knew what was going on but forgot little things. She is now declining and will only say a few words or none at all. She yells and cries and cannot talk and it breaks my heart. My family and I are at odds because they are very trusting in the medical profession and are always quick to use medicine as the answer. My grandmother's caregivers and I all think that the medicine alters her and makes her basically just drugged up and she still just cries and her eyes are glazed over. I cannot stand to see my grandmother who has always been so full of life so miserable at the end. I don't expect a miracle but there has to be a way to make her end of life more tolerable- other then pumping her full of drugs particularly when the negative side effects are exacerbated in elderly patients.... mostly confusion, agitation, and depression. She has hospice care but they just give her drugs...my aunt and uncle are her primary caregivers as my mother (her daughter) died when I was 13. I want to speak with Hospice myself but don't want to start a family war. My aunt is not the most approachable as she has taken my grandmother's care as her primary job since she was fired/retired from hers. There's a lot of personal stuff attached to it for her. But, for me, I am simply concerned about my grandmother.... Does anyone know of any alternative care for an old woman who I love who is hurting so much??