How do I help my father?

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My 82 y/o father suffers greatly with pain from osteo and rheumatoid arthritis. He is deaf and hearing aids work little to help. He stays in bed almost constantly staring at the ceiling. Lights off, no tv, no music, no reading but awake and staring at the ceiling. What do I do?

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My cousin said that his dad used the cordless headphones and they weren't nearly as good as the set that plugs into the t.v. They took the cordless ones back because there was frequency interference. Mum has been happy with hers anyway.
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My dad had cordless headphones that were Sony I believe. They were great. My dad had two hearing aids that he hardly ever wore. The headphones were a Godsend for my mom.
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Thank you I will check that out, it has been one of several ongoing battles. I have severe menopause related insomnia and he wakes me often with cowboys and Indians and sports related noises never mind the necessary nightly bathroom trips...and he just does not care at all. I had checked out TV ears mentioned by someone else in another thread, but the reviews were quite mixed.
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1tired- The headphones that my mum has are made by Sennheiser (you could Google and have a look). My cousin hooked them up to the back of her T.V. Once they are hooked up no one else can hear the volume to her t.v. My cousin turned the volume all the way down to 0 and then hooked the headphones up, I should tell you that this particular set of headphones come with a pre-set volume that cannot be adjusted, so once they are set up your dad will not be able to adjust the volume, the volume from the t.v. does not adjust the volume in the headphones. He should not have to adjust the volume because it is very loud when you put the headphones on. You can also get a cord extension if he is a long way away from the t.v. The only time I have heard any noise from my mum's t.v is if I am in her t.v. room and she takes the headphones off, I can hear the noise coming out of the headphones, but I cannot hear any noise if I am in a different room. Good Luck!
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Macada, I am trying to buy such a set of headphones for FIL. Can you recommend a brand? The ads are so confusing and when I read the reviews some of them are terrible. I want ones that he can listen with no volume for us to hear as our bedrooms are side by side and he has been keeping me up for years!
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Also I just thought of something else for your dad's hearing. Sometimes elderly people need to have their ears flushed out due to wax build up, my mum had this done because she could hardly hear anything and I put a few drops of warmed olive oil in each ear for a couple of days and then took her to the doc, he flushed the wax out and she can hear EVERYTHING! Also, headphones that plug into the T.V. are a great thing.. worth a try! :-)
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Firstly, I wonder if you could get your dad some Voltaren Emulgel, it is a topical anti-inflammatory gel that is very helpful for arthritis, it has really helped my mum. Up here in Canada a prescription isn't required but I think in the states you need one. Secondly, could you purchase a lightweight Transport wheelchair, they are great for taking elderly people for walks, easy to push. I bought one for my mum, it cost a little over $100 and she sits in it outside and I put a T.V. table in front of her and she has her lunch outdoors (weather permitting). I'm thinking your dad might like to be outdoors again. If you ask him he will probably say No. If you surprise him with the chair and take him outside, I bet he would be in his element :-) Good Luck!
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My Dad was sick at a fairly young age and in and out of rehab facilities. During one stay he told me of a patient who had signed a DNR. This lady was ready to die. However a new patient a gentleman was admitted and they got to know each other. One day she approached the desk and asked if she could please tear up her DNR and order some Viagra. So my Dad's take was that people need a reason to live that excites them. Don't know what that would be for your Dad.
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Has dad been checked for metastatic cancer in his bones. Sometimes radiotherapy can help. if its too much effort he can stop. This is not curative but does shrink the tumors and relieve pain. It is his call. is your mother still alive and is she with you?. It sounds as though it is getting close to the time to call in hospice. if he seems content let him be
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Thanks for the input. Dad does have both a hospital bed and a lift chair. He has been seeing pain management for years and is being treated for depression as well. He has had cancer three times and very serious cancers ( prostate, esophageal and prostate). He has moved in with me which means he left his home state and extended family. He is a fine Christian man so his fairth is pretty much what has sustained him. I agree he is pretty much resigned to the end of life. The inside farming is a good thought though standing and sitting are painful. However laying in bed all day does not help. And no I do not have a 17 year old daughter who thinks she is a princess! LOL! Good guess though.
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