Just passed the 1 year mark of Mom's death and Dad lives with me, How do I handle their anniversary?

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(would have been 60 years this month). Last year we buried mom 3 days before their wedding anniversary so it was all still fresh. It was told that it was their 60th but dad and I (only) know it was the 59th (a cover up due to my brothers arrival 60 years ago). So now how do I handle it, I don't think I did well with the 1 year anniversary, Dad was very sad as was I and I was caught up in my own grief. Do I recognize the day, what do I do? I had flowers sent to moms grave for dad and had a photo of them so he could see (we are not geographically close to where mom is buried). I was a bit peeved as no one else recognized the date (sister or brother) with flowers (my brother lives 2 miles away from the grave). I am trying to live in the present and not dwell and have dad live in the present (hes doing OK). Just not sure how to handle this event. Their anniversary was always important to them, mom left a card for dad before she died so that hit him hard when he found it.

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Thanks for all of the answers. I did not make a fuss over it. Dad brought it up at dinner with my wife and I and I said I'm sad too and asked if he was OK? He seemed to be OK at the time. Mom passed 6 days before their anniversary so there were flowers on her grave. My daughter just visited it so she was able to clean it off now that the flowers are gone.
It's not that I want to dwell on it or have him as well as he has to move on. I doubt he ever will but that is him. I don't get it when people say to move on and forget all the ancillary things. We celebrate the birth or our lord (my religion, not to offend any others). We celebrate the death and resurrection. We commemorate the birth and deaths of public figures, heck, we even take days off have cookouts and buy appliances! What I don't see is why we have to sweep our loved ones under the rug when they die...... It is almost taboo that we even bring it up that they had a life. My wife and I lost a friend to suicide, we (she better than I) remember each year her day. My wife calls her husband every year (we are still very close friends) so say we are thinking about her, that was 11 years ago. He seems to appreciate it as he brings it up often even tho he is remarried. He at different times tells us it is OK, good to talk about her once in a while. She had a life, meaning people who loved her. So why is it not OK to talk about when someone has an event in their life to talk about it, I'm not talking parades and parties just a mention (insert Hallmark moment here). I lost a friend to cancer the same year we lost our friend to suicide. We have not spoken with his wife since a year past due to her choice but my 2 buddies call each year, on the date. We talk with each other, I am geographically close to his grave so I make sure I stop by to say "hi Bro, miss ya". We talk about him to each other. Again, we celebrate dead Presidents and notable figures. I guess I will do what we all do? Take the day off and cook burgers and buy a new washer?
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My aunt brilliantly (I'm being ironic) staged a long-belated birthday party on what would have been my mother's golden wedding, soon after mother was widowed. Mother was taken aback at the thoughtlessness of it, and I must admit I was none too impressed; but we didn't raise any objection; and, besides, this is how life goes. Red letter days to one person are blanks to another. It explains your siblings' disregard of your mother's one year anniversary. Well! - ok. Good for them, cracking on with life. Me? Yes, I'd agree it's… well, it's a bit shallow of them. But it's no skin off your or your father's noses.

What should you do to mark the days? Do what feels appropriate for you. In Judaism there's a handy word for it, "yahrzeit", which means literally anniversary but specifically the anniversary of a death. One lights a 24-hour candle (25, actually, to be on the safe side - but don't start me on the subject of rules of observance because I get tetchy), they come in special stout little glasses so you can leave them burning safely. Among other ideas I personally find less inspirational, I think this little, private ritual is genius.

But the key point is: what feels right for you and your father. People have no business getting impatient with mourners. If, as has happened ever, I feel that a certain person is rather milking it and surely should be over the worst by now, I would still never dream of saying so either to them or about them. It is only decent to allow people to take things at their own pace. That is, of course, assuming that you're not looking at actual depression, which would need intervention; but for your father to wish to mark his wedding anniversary (especially the big numbers, but for heaven's sake and your mother's memory maintain the family fiction) and the date of his wife's passing is entirely appropriate. Do it your way.
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you should have handled the anniversary like your bro and sis did
i lost 20 yrs of personal and masonry pics when my pc crashed a few months ago .
its ok , i dont need to live in the past .
i read a story tonight about a family who lost everything one could lose in the bombing of nagasaki . the surviving old man told his son " when something is lost , something else is gained " . their loss was a damm sight bigger than mine or yours but they both survive to this day with enriched lives and new extended family all around them .
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Why do we think it important for widows and widowers never to be sad? The real sadness would be to never have had someone in your life worthy of missing and being sad over. Constant full-time sadness? No. Occasional sadness? How else do you know you loved?
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I would say, "Dad, I'm especially thinking of Mom today. I am so glad that you had each other for more than half a century! I am sad that she is gone, but I feel blessed to have had her as long as we did." That would give him an opening if he wanted a chance to talk, or to cry. And it would probably please him to know that someone else remembers his important day.

My husband died less than two years ago. Nobody can give me more reasons to be sad. It would be sad to think I was the only one who missed him.

I wouldn't be concerned about how others mark this day. You live with Dad. You are close to him in a way others are not. As a widow, I think you should definitely talk about their anniversary. Personally I don't think it necessary to commemorate it in other ways, but if Dad asks about flowers for the grave or any other gesture I'd help him arrange that.

Believe me, he is NOT going to avoid being sad or wistful or contemplative on his anniversary just because you don't bring it up.

By the way, off topic here, but we found out that our parents fudged their anniversary by one year when we tried to arrange their "25th" anniversary party. We were in stitches (I was 24.) My mother was terribly embarrassed but at least we all just thought it was terribly funny and no one got on their high-horse about it.
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As in your post, your parents marriage anniversary was important to *them*... since only you had placed flowers, that means others don't place that high importance on a wedding anniversary if someone's spouse had passed on. Said date probably isn't logged onto one's calendar any more.

Others may choose a birthday, Mother's Day, or Christmas holiday to place flowers. Or choose to remember in other ways that don't include flowers, such as a donation to a charity.
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Me? I wouldn't recognize in a million years. If dad brought it up, I'd say, "Yeah, I remember, dad. So many wonderful memories..." Period.

Dad's got enough reasons to be sad. Why give him more?
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