How do I handle my mom crying that she wants to go home?

What you tell her is "Mom , you need more care than we can give you at home".

From a previous post, your mom and sister felt that having mom in rehab and not at home was "signing her death warrant" although mom was non-compliant with meds and diet at home and is clearly better cared for where she is.

I would state firmly and calmly to mom "this is where the doctor says you will get the care you need right now" and ask the medical team to prescribe some meds to take the edge off her anxiety.

A Geriatric Psychiatrist can meet with both of you regarding dealing with reality and Mom taking control of her own life in Hospice or Death With Dignity program. Either way, the Psychiatrist can order pain and anxiety meds.

Hospice: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/end-of-life/in-depth/hospice-care/art-20048050

https://deathwithdignity.org

We all need to make our own end-of-life choices (the ones available to us, not those that fall in the category of wishes). See what the Psychiatrist can offer in assistance.

If you are unable to care for your mom at home in her final days due to the need for 24/7 care, then coming up with therapeutic fibs like FF suggested is probably your best bet. Either that or simply explaining that you don't have the means or the equipment at home necessary to care for her properly. My mother was wheelchair bound and needed A LOT of care herself towards the end of her life, but insisted on 'coming home' too. I would explain to her that I was physically unable to provide her the level of care she required, nor was my house able to accommodate her wheelchair. That didn't work though, she accused me of lying and 'making up stories' but she had advanced dementia. Your mother is struggling with liver cancer and kidney failure, which means you CANNOT care for her in your home............it's impossible.

I think hospice is your best bet now b/c they can give her anti anxiety meds and pain meds as needed to keep her calm and out of pain completely. You feeling 'guilty' is not warranted; you've done nothing to cause this situation, nor can you do anything to 'fix' it. The matter is in God's hands now, in reality, so all you can do is be there to let mom know you love her. I think feeling grief is a better way to describe what you're feeling that 'guilt', as our dear AlvaDeer always likes to say, and she's right about that. Don't confuse the two G words.

I'm so sorry that both you and your mom are going through such a difficult time. I pray that her pain is eased and that she's comforted by both your presence and hospice's ministrations now. Wishing you all the best.

Sammy22, this is a time when it is ok to use "therapeutic fibs". Try to think of something that you feel your Mom would believe as to why she can't go home at this time. You can say that the plumbing is being fixed so the water has been turned off, and it will be awhile.

I had to do this with my own Mom [she had dementia and was 98 years old]. She wanted to visit her parents, I told her they were visiting the old country, and she was ok with that.