I currently care for my grandmother part time. And half of the time I am there shes verbally abusive but denys it when confronted.
I've tried talking to her and explaining to her that I do the best I can to care for her but sometimes it isn't enough.
She often tells me that I wouldn't be there if they weren't paying me, and that I work for her, it's my responsibility to take care of her every need. She tents to leave things last minute so when it's time for me to go, she expects for me to stay the extra hours and do as she asks when I have other responsibilities to take care of. And when I do remind her and ask her if she needs anything that requires time, she lets me know were on her time not mine.
I hate taking everything so personal but it's hard trying to understand her at times. I am only 25, my father which is her son, is in jail and everyone around me thinks I need to be responsible for her because that's what my father would want. When really it just benefits everyone else because they dont do much for her. If anything they asked for extra favors. I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm venting but I really dont know what else to do. As much as I would want for it to be easy and leave her, i feel like i cant give up, and that maybe there right and I am exaggerating? I dont even know what to believe anymore but I hope some advice would help.
Do you have another paying job that offers you health insurance and a retirement fund? If you do and work part time, probably not. How will you pay for medical care? In 40 years, how will you retire. Is “everyone” going to help you out then?
You are obligated only to yourself. Call your local Department of Health and Human Services and find out what help is available to you. It won’t be easy. Give “everyone” a time limit and move on.
If you are doing this out of obligation I think you should examine how much of your life you are willing to give up for your grandmother. If you are not willing to do so (and I honestly think you should not) explain to her that this is not working for you, and you will be moving (or she will be moving if she lives in your home) in a time period (say two months) and you will help he to explore options for herself in that time.
You don't mention if there is dementia involved; if your grandmother does suffer from dementia then she is not in control of what she says. You don't give us her age, or yours. You are young (I assume) and have a right to get on with your life. While your grandmother may be elderly she may also have decades of life left.
Abuse is unacceptable under any circumstances. You are too young to be saddled with this responsibility...now is the time for you to live your life...surrounded by people who do not put you down.
It is not your fault that your father is a criminal and no reason for you to pick up the slack.
I would give her a 30 day notice, don't subject yourself to her abuse any further.
Sending support your way!