How do I handle finances with a caregiver? Do I pay the agency directly and they pay for groceries or do I give them grandma's debit card?

Talk to the agency about how they would prefer this to be set up.

I can't imagine giving a new caregiver Gma's debit card.

You can order groceries delivered online, either through the grocery store direct, (Walmart.com/free delivery), or via Instacart. The small fees plus a 5% tip will be much less than you pay a caregiver to shop.

Do not hand over your Grandmother's debit card to anyone, for any reason.

A person can enter the card on any website and shop away without your knowledge, even after they give the card back, and have left your employment.
You may not discover the theft until much later, and after having to inquire of Grandma, did you buy this?

As a fiduciary, find out ways to protect Grandmother's finances. Suggestions can be found online. You can learn...

I would order and pay for items on line. The caregiver can either pick up or you can elect to have the items delivered.
I would not give a caregiver a credit or debit.
If you can not order on line and pay that way give the caregiver a preloaded card. You can buy them at most grocery stores in any dollar amount you wish. I would keep the amount small but reasonable. And you must ask for the original reciept

I'd like to think agencies are much better a decade later, but when I first arrived at my grandmother's house and looked over services supplied and billed by her CGs, there was literally no food in the refrigerator, and some small cans of Vienna Sausages on the pantry shelf. I saw what she was being billed for, and food worth hundreds was supposedly bought every other week. There was also a charge to an old Sears card that I later found on her credit report that was traced back to a previous agency caregiver.

Ask the agency how they usually handle this, and go along with it and monitor things if that's easier -- but with so many delivery services now, like Instacart, do you really need to go through them at all for this one?

And welcome to AC!

I like the prepaid card. Most places have them. But I would ask for the receipt and double check what is bought. Its not unusual for an aide to buy something for themselves hoping it won't be seen by family. My grocery store has a program where I get discounts at check out. I give them my phone#. I usually get a receipt but last time the clerk must have done something different and my receipt went to my email.

Me, I would tell the aide to leave out non-perishable items and put those needing refrigeration in the fridge. Then later I would check off the items that were bought. Do not be trusting. Start from day one looking for things just not right. Do not leave around anything financial like credit card info, check book, statements. Not jewelry worth anything. We had a member where she bought stuff in bulk and the aide claimed yes, she was using 4 rolls of toilet paper a week and as many paper towels. The member started locking things up and leaving out what she thought was needed. Another the aide was taking food.

Its awful that we have to be this way. If your trusting, some people will steal from you. Not sure how they justify it, but its stealing in my book. U may want to put some camera's around.

If your caregiver comes from a reputable agency, where the employees have undergone a background check, and the agency is bonded and insured, you really don't have to worry about the caregiver. My hubby's caregiver uses his credit card when she does the shopping or when she takes him out to eat. She also uses my car to run errands for us.

I spent several weeks investigating the various agencies around town, and took advice from several different people before I hired the agency we use. In addition, our caregiver has been with this agency for 13 years.

Do your homework before you hire someone. Good luck with your grandma.

Please do not give a debit card and PIN to anybody other than the POA! Talk to the agency about the best way to pay for groceries and other personal expenses. Perhaps you can set up a charge account with your local grocery stores and drug stores, and set a limit on how much can be spent. Many groceries have ways to order and pay online - perhaps you can do the ordering and have the groceries delivered at a time when the aide is in the home. If "strangers" will be coming into the house, lock up your grandmother's valuables and financial papers. I was able to set up accounts online and handled them online for my elderly aunt and it made things a lot easier.

My coworker let the caregiver shop with her mom's credit card. Found out she was buying some things for herself at the grocery store. She took this evidence to the police and they said it was too small an amount to prosecute.

InstaCart or do your own shopping. Give gift cards to caregiver if they are going to be taking grandma anywhere that requires spending money. Do not give grandma's debit card out.

I have been with families where I have cared for their Mom or Dad for often more than 5 years and the families have always trusted me with their parents debit card. The present client I am with the family lives in USA and trusts me completely with their moms debit card. I pay all the accounts which are not on debit order. I purchase what is needed in the house and they pay for my food without ever complaining. I also withdraw a certain amount to have as petty cash. But the bulk of the purchases I use the debit card so that the money spent can be checked

I do have to say that I do a spending analysis every month of all the expenses for the cash withdrawals and debit card payments to enable the family member who control the money to check the bank statement at anytime

It is a good feeling to feel you are being trusted and relied on.

I have been doing dementia care for 20 years and never felt I was not being trusted.

NEVER give a debit card to anyone but the POA.

I wouldn't give anyone complete access to your Grandma's Bank Funds!
You should have them tell you what Grandma needs and you should place the order yourself to be delivered.
That's what I do for my 97 yr old Dad. I order from Walmart once a week to be delivered to his front porch and the Caregiver puts the stuff away.
I also had cameras installed in mt Dad's House so I can make sure everything was going smoothly.
I used Nest Cameras and found relief that I could watch anytime I wanted 24 7 from my cell oh or laptop computer.
The Nest Cameras weren't hard to install and the Peace of Mind it gave me was worth every penny

For a period of time just pre-COVID we had someone coming in to do some of the chores, making meals, laundry… Moms grocery store had recently started a delivery or pick up option where we ordered her groceries on line and then could opt to either have them delivered (we never did this for coordination reasons) or pick up where you pulled into a designated parking spot, called them and they brought the order out and loaded into the car. We started having the woman who was coming in to help out do the pick up, it was far less expensive than paying her to take time doing the shopping and I just paid for the groceries when I ordered them no need to worry about giving her a card or reimbursing her. We still use the service but my brother or I, when I’m in town, do the pick up since we haven’t reintroduced the helper yet.

You give the caregiver a grocery list and a certain amount of cash to go to the store with. Then you tell her to bring back a receipt and change if she doesn't spend the whole amount. This is how it's done in private-pay care as well. Grocery shopping or other errands that involve the caregiver making purchases on the client's behalf do not go through the agency they work for.
If there's a good client/caregiver relationship where they trust each each other, the caregiver will put in a few dollars if the bill goes over what they were given, but they're paid the difference right away by the client or family.
I've done this personally many times. I've paid for client shopping bills in full out of my own pocket if they didn't have access to cash. Many elderly people don't. I would produce store receipts and they would give me a check separate from my pay for money spent. I always refused to use a client's credit or debit card for shopping because this leaves a door open for a caregiver to be accused of stealing or some other nonsense an elderly client gets into their head and becomes fixated on. It's a matter of trust with caregiver/client and family. It's also a matter of the caregiver protecting themselves and their reputation. Cash and store receipts are the way to go for shopping needs.
I've worked for other clients and families who would send me to a store with a list and nowhere near enough cash to cover the bill. So, I'd get the items I could and they did without the rest or someone else went and got them. I would not so much as put up a nickel of my own money because I knew they wouldn't pay. It all depends on what the caregiver. client, and family agree to.

I was told to just get a store specific gift card - it can only be used in that store, and those can usually be reloaded as needed.
Also with pre-order and pickup or delivery so common everywhere now, that’s a great way to go as well.

NEVER give someone another person's debit card or their PIN.

NEVER NEVER NEVER

Have the caregiver make a grocery list. You can either place order with the grocery store for pick up by the caregiver or enlist a "shopper" (there are several services you can choose from online). You pay for the groceries. You can either have the groceries delivered to grandma's home or have the caregiver pick them up at the store.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give anybody access to financial information.

Agencies will not handle grocery expenses. Either call the store ahead and order everything one line and pay for it with the credit card (do not give the card data to anyone but to the store). Caretaker can pick up paid order. Or find out cost of items and give caretaker the money and get a receipt with the change so you can keep track - and do check the receipt, etc. No other way.

StrongButCares: Imho, you should never give personal financial information to a caregiver.

I buy a $100 Visa card and leave it in an envelope on my Mom’s table for aides to use. They put the receipts in the envelope after shopping. Been doing it for years….no issues. When it runs out I buy another.

Mom used to send her aid to the store and give her a check for whatever was on the receipt. That ended up including her aid's weekly groceries for her family. Mom was also paying for the time her aid took to shop, drive home and put her groceries away, pick up her son from school, and come back to help Mom with dinner. In other words, Mom was stolen from to the tune of hundreds of dollars per week. She didn't do her aid any favors either. Thinking she could get away with it she repeated at her next job. She was arrested and prosecuted. Don't tempt anyone by making it easy to help themselves. Several of the caregivers here have been amazing in the care and compassion they show the people they worked for, but this seems the exception today.

I would not give a care giver a credit or debit card.

36 years ago I was a nanny. I had a budget of $30 per month for incidentals for the child I was caring for. If I took him somewhere with an admission fee, mine was covered too. I also took him at the family's request to McDonalds once a month. If I had a meal it was covered.

At the end of each month I submitted all the receipts or an accounting on the back of an envelope of monies paid out. If I got him an ice cream, I did not need to get a receipt. The remaining balance was topped up to $30 the next month. I also got $10 per month for gas, as we lived 10 miles out of town.

This worked well for small incidental expenses. I kept "Robbie's money" in a small change purse, an envelope for the receipt and I wrote the items for which we did not have receipts on the envelope too.

I am honest and it was a small sum.

I am 55 and I have never given anyone my Pin, not even my children.

if you want to use a card, use a reloadable card that you purchase for this function.

Check the receipt and the groceries. Years ago some of our hired caretakers were taking home toilet paper and groceries.

DO NOT give anyone grandma's debit card.

I learned that someone can clean the account out and there is NOTHING you can do because giving them the security code is seen as permission and it will come down to "She said I could." Then you have to prove that isn't true.

I recommend a petty cash allowance, with it written into the caregiving contract that any money unaccounted for comes out of their pay at the end of the month.

StrongButCares, when my Dad had around the clock caregivers, I would get the groceries myself [on-line, curb pickup]. That way the caregiver wouldn't need to worry about leaving my Dad alone, he was a major fall risk.

A Rep from the Agency came over to Dad's house to see what would be involved. Therefore, we pretty much interviewed each other. She explained how the Agency works. And Dad signed the Contract.

The Agency wouldn't accept checks or credit-cards. The weekly billing was automatically pulled from my Dad's saving account. And I would get a copy of the bill. It was expensive, so I had to make sure Dad had enough in his savings, if not, I would need to transfer funds from other accounts.

The 1st shift caregiver was a regular scheduled person, thus after awhile I would let her take my Dad to doctor appointments using her own car. The Agency did bill me for mileage to reimburse the caregiver.

Hope everything works out for you, and Grandmother.

Can you have groceries delivered and pay for them by phone, or maybe a card you put money on and then only up to that amount can be spent. It will depend on the contract you work out with the agency but I certainly would not hand over Grandma's credit card. Being tight I also wouldn't want to pay for the time they were out shopping, so if you have a supermarket that will deliver to Grandma's then I would be opting for the online order you place and they deliver.

No, no, no. Don't give Grandmom's debit care to anyone!! You can check with the agency on how they handle this but if it is going through them , I would let them invoice me after the groceries are delivered. That way you can match the purchases to what is being charged. Alternatively, you can order groceries online and have them delivered. In any event... you need to check what is billed against what is delievered.

Isthisrealyreal,

Unless the Visa is an actual credit card, they all have an activation fee.
It is true that money can bring out the worst in people. It always amazes me when a family will take the strictest measures to guarantee that the money is protected and well cared for. If only they took such measures when it came to their elderly 'loved ones'.
If a family is willing to trust a paid caregiver unsupervised alone to care for some elderly person with dementia, then they can take a chance and give them cash and the grocery list to do the shopping.
On my last long-term care assignment I was responsible for every aspect of an elderly husband and wife. I was hired at first just for the wife who became completely invalid from LBD. At the time the husband was fine. Then he got sick and I had to take on all the responsibility of him as well. These people kept several thousand dollars cash in the house, and I used to make out the paychecks that the husband would sign because by this time he wasn't with it enough to do them.
Their adult kids didn't bother much with them. When the husband died, one of the sons came down and took the cash out of the house for "safe keeping". He did this right in front of me. I took this as a personal insult because it was. "Safe keeping"? I told him that the money had been in that drawer for as long as I've been working for his parents. Over five years of service. I never touched it other than for the shopping and none of my girls that I brought in touched it period. The adult kids showed the money, checkbook, and credit cards more care and concern than their invalid mother. This always amazes me when I see it on an assignment and it is very common.