Mom has Alzheimer's and has been living with us for about 2 years. How do I go about finding a place for her?

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I am on disability because of multiple foot surgeries. I also have a blood clot disorder. I hurt my back the other day and realized the older I get the worse I am going to get and if something happens to me there is no one to take care of her. I have 3 brothers and do not keep in touch with her at all. I am trying to apply for Aid and Attendance so I will be able to get her into a NH but as of now I am still waiting for her DD214. They are all so expensive and I can not afford to pay for them on my own. Can someone please give me any suggestions you may have?

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There are very helpful comments already on this thread for this knowledgeable community. I'd add that you should visit www.aging.gov and find your state under state resources. This will give you a long list of state specific contacts and organizations (including your Area Agency on Aging) that you can contact. While not all states are totally up to date, they are getting there (this site just started up last year).

You've already got a good start by applying for help but it all takes time and that is especially hard when the caregiver has health problems too. Check out every contact on your state list that makes sense. These people can lead you to other resources.

Take care of yourself,
Carol
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You don't have to pay for a nursing home, your mother does. If she does not have the assets, then check with state medicaid plans. They will audit her financial situation and see if she qualifies for state aid. Nursing homes should be able to help you with that process.
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My mom is now living in the type of home that bls mentioned. Here in michigan they are called Adult Family Homes. They only take 6 residents and their fees run from 2800-3200 much less than nursing home. I was able to get her VA benefits in 3 months and with those benefits and her ss we can stretch what little money she has as long as possible. I have looked at literally dozens of these homes and i must say they are great for dementia clients because the small size makes it easier for them, and consistant caregivers is key to helping them respond to care. If you need help with your VA application I outlined how we applied and would be happy to share with you or anyone needing help. Just message me as I am not allowed to mention my blog here on the forum. It was an easy process for us and the benefits 1149 for my mom help out so very much. There are options so do not get discouraged. There are many great people on this forum who each can offer their own experiences so stay connected and know we are here to help.
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When I began to look into a place for my mother to live I started with a company that was advertised on TV. They provided a list of private home type places. In my area an Alizheimers care home runs between $2000 and $4000 a month. My mother is in a one level house that has 4 people there plus of course the 24/7 caregiver. I am using Aid and Dependance and her SS money plus the difference from her savings account. It took me 1 year to get the VA benefit completed but I had already started to gather the paperwork before mom even went into a care home.
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You're going to have to spend some time doing research on the various facilities available; it's a lot of "leg work" but needs to be done. Once you have a group selected, tour them with a checklist you've made up so you can compare the various aspects, including patient to staff ratios, which are very important.

BTW, you should also change your profile to delete your mother's name; she's entitled to her privacy and it's very unwise to post the name of someone with dementia on a public forum.
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Start with closest VA hospital, and your local council on aging.
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Each state's assistance is a bit different. Please try nolo.com ro see what is available. Put your zip code in on the link below. Your mom is lucky you care and are willing to do the research.xoxo
nolo/legal-encyclopedia/state-state-eligibility-medicaid-long-term-care
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Have you looked into Veteran's Homes? My father-in-law spent his last several months in a veteran's home and got good care. The fees were based on his assets and income. As a veteran or the widow of a veteran she would qualify.
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Yes, each state has a service available to provide the information you need, and answer your questions for your Mom's care rights to be in a nursing home. Unless you carry your mother as a dependent, you would not be obligated to pay the nursing home. Look in your search engine under your state name for Senior Health Information Program, and you can have all the help you need. There is no cost and it is not an outlet for the sale of any products. These are trained and informed volunteers who will even come and meet with you and your Mom at home. God bless you for caring for your Mom. The help will be there for you.
Kath in Iowa
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Do your homework...ask questions as to whether staff are trained in the area of gerontology...many are not...explore not for profit facilities as opposed to large corporate providers (HCR Manor Care, Genesis etc).....call your local Aging ofice, they may explore options for payment you may not be aware of as well as your county assistance office
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