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She moved in because of health debilitation's and financials. She is bed ridden for the most part due to rhuematoid arthritis, congestive heart failure and copd. ive had to stop my work to care for her around the clock, and now im unable to pay my rent. ive exhausted my savings by moving into a house that is on a ground floor(ive had an upstairs apt. for years]. i love my mom and dont mind caring for her, but 20 hour days are beginning to take its toll on myself

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In due time, you are going to find out that you've taken on too much. Best bet for mom=Nursing Home.
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Do those of you with truly great advice understand the time involved in securing help? The paperwork, the in-home assessments, scheduling, doctor visits + all the day-to-day domestic tasks amd then giving a mother adequate care, loving? It is simply defeating.
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Contact the area agency on aging and ask about in home services and caregiver support services. They have a wealth of information and should be able to pass on some resources. Good luck
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Did ur Mom come directly from a hospital or rehab? If so, their Social Worker should have helped u find services u may need. Our Office of the Aging puts out a booklet of their services. Did ur Mom work? See if her employer offers help in finding services for retires. If she has a medicare suppliment, see what they will cover.
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My experience with social workers has been more positive. The one time I had one come out to our home, you can bet I did a bunch of extra cleaning first nevertheless. They may actually not be all that interested in finding abuse and neglect, just because then they have to make all kinds of efforts and arrangements to either fix things where they are or find alternative placement, and maybe even end up in court over it. MOST of them can tell the difference between an unwashed sinkload of dishes and serious problems with either no food or rotting food and garbage all over the place.
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I would NEVER invite any "officer of the law" ie: social worker into my home. My advice is to keep to yourself on this and if you need to get help, the county services for the elderly will often offer respite help for families. Personally that's even too close to being government for me to swallow. I have a private hire assistant with my mother. I don't know what you would make on your job, but it may be worth it. Also, there is a possibility that if your dad was a veteran that you could get money there for your mom. My mother gets about $1200 per month from VA. That pays her caregiver.
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I would check out hospice. Medicare pays for everything.
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Like own456 said, I would be very leery of having a LSW come to my house. They are looking for signs of elder abuse. Then you would have more problems if they invented a problem Like wwpwin said you may have to to the NH route.
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Often times when social workers come to the house they can see dirty dishes in the sink as elder abuse. If they are not a very nice social worker and know that you have belongings that they feel they want they can report you to the APS. Make sure you keep your belongings that are part of family history or heritage hidden because if you hire a home health care service later research them. Make sure that they do not have any skeletons in their closet. Make sure the health care workers do not have any prior arrest for theft, DUI, sexual offenses, make sure that their records are clear of any and all civil disputes because they can work with a social worker to get family heirlooms and possibly involve the APS worker that could file a court case to become the POA and change the living will to result to all the assets going to APS and the health care workers so check these people out thoroughly before hiring anyone or bringing anyone to the house. Civil court cases with APS and home care can drag on for years and be very costly and ruin your rep. so check these people out first.
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Sounds like you may have to bite the bullet and put her in a nursing home. It also sounds like you need to keep working to support yourself.
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Was your dad a veteran? If so, Mom is likely eligible for a $1200 per month pension since she is housebound.
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Zinkie, the wheelchair and hospital bed should be wholly covered if she has any kind of decent medical coverage, but not the commode. I believe you can get a commode at Walgreen's or CVS for $50 or less. Our medical coverage also allows for a home health worker to come for no more than 8 hours a day and not more than 35 hours a week. Call your mom's medical coverage and find out. I didn't even think of it until my daughter put a bug in my ear. Sure enough! I think sometimes we caregivers don't fully realize all the things that are out there for us. :)
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Hi Zinkie - What kind of medical coverage does she currently have?
Her doctor should be able to provide you with a doctor's 'order' for Home Health assistance, (being bed-ridden & home-bound qualifies) which may help some, but won't allow you to get back to work so you can make rent payments. The doctor can also authorize DME that may help. (ie) hospital bed, commode, wheelchair etc. But - once again - without knowing her Medical Coverage; you may have a hefty co-pay for the DME. When I started with my mother - I went ahead and bought some DME that has lasted years. If you can't afford new - try flea markets and garage sales. I see you are in San Pedro? You may qualify for subsidized (HUD) housing. Google HUD San Pedro. Women taking care of children and/or parents are pushed to the top of the list. Contact them to get that started. If you can - find one within walking distance to groceries & a drug store. MEANWHILE - call your utility companies and ask for their 'low income' discounts. They'll send you a form (some do it online) and you can get substantial discounts on Gas & Electric. You may even qualify for a free cell phone & free monthly plan through Assurance Wireless. Cutting expenses lowered my stress :) You are in for the long haul. If you don't start finding ways to enjoy yourself a little; your love may turn to resentment. Keep in touch. You found a good group.
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Zinkiewitz2, I understand where you're coming from. I had to leave my Maryland home and move in with my mother where she wouldn't budge from her own home in Massachusetts. Was Caregivng hard? Sure it was! I hold no regrets as I did everything in my power to assist Mom. My sibling didn't!
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If your mom has medical insurance, please call them right away and ask for the benefits department. Many people don't think of doing this. I didn't, either, until my daughter suggested it. Lo and behold, the benefits department of my medical insurance said if they get a doctor's recommendation, a health care worker will come in no more than eight hours a day and no more than thirty-five hours a week to help out in whatever area I need. If your mom has medical insurance, I would urge you to contact them. There is much available to us if we have medical insurance that we are not aware of!
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Join the club of caregivers! Her doctor can write an order for a home healthcare agency to come in and provide services. Talk with the doctor ASAP!
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Sorry, in wandering around creating my message I missed your original question. In my experience, a social worker's involvement starts with a prescription for home care; an RN typically does an intake assessment, at which time you can request a social worker's involvement.
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Depending on what her health conditions are, one of her doctors might consider scripting for home health care, which in my experience begins with a home care nurse. If the doctor will also script for a home health care aide, that would give you an opportunity for some well needed rest.

I agree that utilities should be addressed. Contact the providers; utilities with which I'm familiar have budget plans that allow for flat rates monthly to spread out the flux in seasonal usages.

Also check to see if you can get food assistance from places like Forgotten Harvest, Focus Hope, etc. Research your state government to see if there's an elder agency that can offer help. In Michigan, there's an excellent governmental agency that offers advice and assistance on getting help, including with food.

Contact local senior centers and inquire about their programs. Depending on your community, there may be a variety of organizations with which they're familiar but are otherwise unknown to the public.

There's also a group called Angel Ministries which offers advice on a variety of programs: http://www.angel-ministries.org/#/programs-calendar. This group used to provide food packages for flat rates, but in a quick check I didn't see that on their website. Some more checking would be in order if this might help.

Lighthouse agency also offers advice and some assistance on different issues. Google or other search engines will help you locate these in your area and state.

As to the physical and emotional drain, try to schedule periodic down times when you both can just put aside all the health issues and enjoy each other's company. Listen to music, just chat, play cards, dominos or do something relaxing. If you don't find time to recuperate, you'll end up emotionally and physically drained.

If you know any neighbors, ask if they or others have pets that could come and visit. Pet therapy will relax and refresh both you and your mother.

You mentioned stopping your work. Did you quit or are you off under FMLA?
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I had all utilities on a budget and we were eligible for gov asst. Plus she had social security. It was still a tight stretch, but i made it work. Hospitals have social workers that can help and provide info. Call all places where u receive ur bills and explain ur situation. They can also help.
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Get in touch with your local Area Agency on Aging right away. Do either of you have SSI or other income at all? It sounds like you need either a skilled nursing facility or a community alternative waiver program to give you enough respite to allow for part-time work, and either of those things may be covered by Medicaid.
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