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My 81 yr old dad is very accommodating. He toilets himself, is mobile and dresses himself. HH Aide was to come once a week to clean his apt, remind and assist him showering, and change his bedding. He lives with me and has his own "apartment" in my home with his own entrance door. Three aides have failed us. One was a no-show half the time. One came once, dismantled my appliances, stole from me then never returned. The third was GREAT, however she was convinced it was a racist endeavor that he had his own entrance at the back of the house. She quit because I wouldn't give her a key to MY house to cut through to his apartment. The "peace of mind" they tout is non-existant. Where do I go from here?

There came a time with my father's vascular dementia when I wanted someone in my parents's home daily to assist my mother in her 80s with the heavier housework. I asked the ministers of a couple of local churches to give my name to ladies in their congregations who might like some part time work (10-12 hours per week) during light and some heavy housework including mopping, vacuuming, spring and window cleaning. My best experience came with a couple of homemakers in their 50s and 60s who were not desperate for money but would like a little extra income. They were mature enough to be responsible and handle/ignore my father's occasional verbal attacks. Because there were two ladies who split hours, they could trade days if one had a sick grandchild or an appointment on a certain day. There are payroll companies out there now that will process time sheets and issue a paycheck while making sure all the appropriate taxes and forms are created for a minimal fee based on the hours or per time sheet. I paid the ladies $12/hr and paid the payroll company a little less than $20/hr. This arrangement lasted a just over a year before my father went into MC and my mother came to live with me.
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Reply to TNtechie
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You did not get the right person
for dad I get to know my client before I send a care giver . I made sure my caregiver is working when she is there
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Reply to Patsy6
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I don’t know who you are using but maybe you’ll do better with another agency. I was a caregiver and I know the turnover can be high but your Dad sounds like a good ‘patient’ so you should find a good match for him. Keep trying, don’t guve up!
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Reply to tracygirl
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This happened to my late mother. She was a social person so she didn't care that her cleaning girl was cheating her hours-wise (she was "clocking out" before her hours were up), causing an almost fire in her dryer, leaving clothes in the dryer for a WEEK, clogging up a vacuum cleaner, etc. My mom's bookkeeper was a real joke! Now mind you --- all of these bad work ethics were caught by ME, not my late mother, because as long as they socialized with her, she didn't care! NO ONE CHEATS MY MOTHER!

For you, I would go to this person's boss. I did and she was appalled that my mother was letting it happen and that the agencies were cheating!
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Are you hiring through an agency? If so it is there responsibility to provide caregivers.
If a caregiver quits, they should be replaced by the next working day.

If a caregiver steels from you and damages property that should be reported to BOTH the police and the agency.

As far as the caregiver that wanted to come through your house to gain access to the apartment, the entrance should be discussed with the rep from the agency and then when you meet the caregiver in the apartment not in your house. And it should be indicated on the forms that this is an apartment with a private entrance.

If caregivers routinely arrive late or do not show you should call the agency right away so they are aware of this and if possible send a replacement. (and so the employee does not get paid for a full day!)

If you are hiring on your own it can be a bit more of a challenge.
Background checks usually will show CONVICTIONS not arrests, reports, or even if a case was dismissed.
I hired 2 great people from the local Community College, they had just completed the certification for CNA and they were waiting for the semester to start Nursing School. I told both that I could work around their class schedules when the time came. (never had to worry about that as my Husband died prior to the start of classes)
But hiring 2 or 3 people is the way to go. They get a break and can sub for each other if there is a problem with their personal schedule. ( I did have one that had previously worked for an agency and later on I did hire him but he did show up late on occasion and it did create problems for me so he moved on.....)

I see this as a general maybe generational workplace problem. I was raised to do the job I was hired to do, show up on time, do my work, then leave and show respect to my fellow workers. And while I was at work I did not talk or text on my phone or watch the latest show (of course that did not exist when I first started working). Whole 'nuther generation with a whole 'nuther set of "values" .
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Welcome to the new world of the younger generation not having any knowledge of work ethics and responsibilities of employment. Not trying to be negative but it is reality, and I am not telling anyone here nothing they don’t already know. I am still working and taking care of my 93yo mother so I can see what is going on in the working world, and it ain’t pretty. We have this same problem at my employer and it is very frustrating there as well. I feel for you. The only advice I can give you is to google the prospective company (going forward) and look at the reviews and hopefully give bad reviews to the companies above that did this to you, so the other people can not go through what you did.
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Reply to Heidindsrespit1
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Ugh, I was handed a list of these yesterday to consider, as Mom will probably be coming home today. My brother leaves this weekend, and I can do some part time work from her house but will have to leave at some point. Ive decided that if we do have to bring someone in I’m getting cameras in her house. And even mom won’t know where they are. Hate to spy like that but in 2019, this is our world. My grandmother was stolen from when she had in home care 20ish years ago. Honestly do they think we’re not going to check or find out? I mean really.
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Reply to anonymous570188
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taebelt Jan 23, 2019
My mom lives with us. We installed cameras in the kitchen and living areas as well as the front and back porch. My mom knows they are there however she seems to forget about them. They are helpful keeping an eye on caretakers and also my Mom when Im at work.
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Boy oh boy, there are real horror stories we could share. How about the PCW (personal care worker) that left what I thought was an energy drink which turned out to be a bright large can of a Seagram’s - GIN drink!
Or the lying PCW who broke Ma’s dentures all the while trying to blame someone else. This was horrific!!!
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Reply to OhMyMe2
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Thank goodness you did not give her a key! That HH person should have been reported back to the agency that sent her. She was a GREAT disaster waiting to happen. It has been a nightmare getting HH for my mom. But advocate, advocate, advocate...”screaming” on & at the situation to make folks do their job is insane; but screaming it is. Contact the HH owners. Change agencies. Ask around. Contact your state’s licensing board. Get your representative involved. I know, Caregiving is ruff-n-tuff without this extra burden but it is the nature of the beast. There are occasional hiccups but finally I’ve found a couple ladies who are godsends.
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Reply to OhMyMe2
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I worked for one of the biggest "chains" of HHC, although it was privately owned--and I know that some problems do arise.

The basic one that kept coming up is the lousy pay--minimum wage and I never got a raise. 2+ years and no raise? They said they simply "didn't do raises". My client's family routinely tipped me out so I was making almost twice what my company paid. This was all done on the up and up, with a new contract being written between my co. and my "family". Honestly? For $8.50 and hour, I probably wouldn't have stayed long. For what ended up being closer to $15 an hour, I was happy, my client was happy and I stayed to the end.

It's a real crapshoot. I am not trained as a CNA, just basic first aid and a desire to do my best, which, sadly, is not always an attribute you see in millenials.

My "lady" had hired and fired 3 CG's in the week before I met her. I think she liked me b/c we are of the same faith and I was not 18 years old.

You do need to vet your CG's. We had nothing but problems with my FIL's--they simply wouldn't show up, and we were relying on them. We never did sort out their issues, he passed too soon. I would have kept trying until we found one that clicked with him--eventually it would have worked out.

As long as the pay is so lousy--you are going to keep having these same problems. Sometimes hiring someone you know is a better way to go---but make it legal and pay taxes and such--at minimum consult an attorney before you hire them. (I was a 1099 employee for another person, just a contract employee and the pay was better--but I did have to pay taxes on the money).
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Reply to Midkid58
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great recommendation for an other agency with reliable caregivers,
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Reply to Elshaidai
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So many caregivers are going through the same senario.  I have  my 83 year old mother who lives with me.  I have been through a dozen agencies.  I have thought about quiting my job to be her caregiver.  I still would not get a break for myself. 

I agree with mollymoose response, find a caregiver who really needs the money.  It will help a little.  Also, put some cameras at your entry doors and bedrooms.  Putting cameras up helped curtail the sticky fingers of caregivers.  Remember that so many caregivers are barely making ends meet financially.  Some of their backstories are frightful.  Interview them well. 

I know how frustrating this can be and it's hard to find the right answers for your situation.  Keep looking and never give up.  Pray, trust and believe that the right person will come along.  Stay encouraged.
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Reply to APTucker
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shnwnslw Jan 23, 2019
I actually did quit my job 2 weeks ago to be his caregiver. I start training this week. Training is only 2 weeks long (sad to say) and I can NOT be his POA. I will not get paid much but its $400 more a month than I was getting doing same thing. I quit a $18/hr ft job for a $10/10 hrs per week income. Now I am looking for a nighttime pt job. I can't consider a home because they will strip him of his own free will and I'd never forgive myself. My sister comes from across the country the moment I ask her to when I take vacations. I can't complain.....
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After several years of these types of problems, my parents opted for independent living facility. Much more reliable and there was so much less for them to have to do.
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Reply to Judysai422
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We went through the same with county aide services of not showing or not doing a good job. We started using care.com. Also ask anyone who already has a caregiver as they are often networked and we have found our best people from other caregivers. Good luck!
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Reply to janlee
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My mom has been under home care for 3 years, I definitely understand your problem! Are these aides coming from an agency? Can you find another agency? Is through a government program so you’re kind of at their mercy? My mom was private pay & the 1st agency was TERRIBLE! We had to fire them. If private pay, find a new company or run ads (require background checks, drug screens, references). Put the word out among churches, relatives, etc. Maybe even check local nursing schools. IN the end, we found women that absolutely needed jobs (so they showed up everyday), were able to do the job & took VERY good care of my mom despite not being CNA’s or being formally trained. They were paid above average pay considering their lack of credentials so they were very happy. PS: A longtime CNA with the professional agency stole a check from my mom.
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Reply to mollymoose
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Elshaidai Jan 23, 2019
most people prefer big name agency . however those big name agency do not even care about your love one . check a reliable home care
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