Mom has dementia and is shy. Dad is very opinionated and doesn't think anyone has anything to talk about.

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tleedaughter, back when my Dad moved into Independent Living at a senior living facility, I also wanted him to be social. In fact, before Dad's apartment was ready the facility let me bring Dad to their social hour. Dad was very social, like it was a college mixer.

Once Dad moved in, he went back to being his shy self. The only time his private caregiver could get him out of his apartment was when the social hour had a musician playing. Other then that, Dad was happy as a clam sitting in his recliner either reading or watching TV. Then I thought, Dad was in his 90's, he should be able to do what he wants :)

Dad did keep his apartment door open. That way people could shout into him "Hi" and Dad was happy with that.
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Some posters here lack compassion often times because they are overstressed from their own caregiving situation. It is often called compassion fatigue.
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I agree ! You need to let them make friends on their own .
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You can't. You need to step back and watch and wait. The more you encourage the more they will rebel. It might happen in time but on their own clock. Have you gone to activities or meals with them? Does with have dementia?

A story, when my mom and her hubby were moved to a facility, mom to memory care, he in assisted living he would take mom to lunch in the large AL dining room each day. My mom had a very hard time with this. If another couple joined them at their table mom did not understand. Once she went into the kitchen to complain about the couple sitting with them. She wanted them to move as she did not want them to be "mooching" the cost of their meal off of them. Of course the meal was included in everyone's rent. This became such a ruckus security was called to get my mom back to memory care. Then meals were taken in memory care if her hubby wanted to take meals with my mom.

Those with dementia become very unfamiliar and uncomfortable in any surrounding. They will often lash out. And it makes others uncomfortable as well.
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