How do I get my mother back into assisted living after my unstable brother removed her?


Four of us moved Mom out of her house that is infested with mice and disgustingly dirty. We cleaned and moved enough furniture to set up a clean safe environment. The next day my brother who is also living in filth went to the facility ate breakfast in the dining room and walked Mom out the door with only her handbag. We called the police and the senior care crisis. Everyone says she doesn’t have to go back to the facility against her will. She is unsafe, there are rodents and the house is filthy with clutter every where. All four of us walked away after hours of dealing with this and getting nowhere. My mother smelled of Poop and urine showing no signs of getting cleaned up and the house had almost no furniture. When pressed for a plan my brother refused to answer claiming to be the “smartest person in the room.”



A Marcia states, if your mom is consider to be legally competent, the she can make the choice as to where she lives. Has your Mom assigned anyone to be her Durable POA or POA-Health Care? Just something to think about in case she is declared incompetent and the POA has to make the decision as to where your Mom lives.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to DeeAnna

I would call APS. It sounds like she is in an unsanitary environment that could put her health at risk. One of you guys (siblings) should probably go back over and check to see if mom is clean, and make sure she is bathed and has been cleaned up. If she hasn't been, put that in your report to APS too. But do clean her up or get an aide or someone to, as she can get an infection not to mention skin irritation from sitting in urine and feces. This fact alone (walking around smelling of urine and feces) speaks to some kind of cognitive impairment on your mom's part.

I would also call your local Area Agency on Aging and have them come out and do an evaluation and needs assessment.

Also, how well do you know mom's doctor? It sounds like there may have been a medical reason why she had to be moved into AL in the first place. Maybe he/she (doctor) could write a letter recommending AL level of care due to whatever issues she has that necessitate assistance. I'd let their office know what is going on too, and see what they can do.
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Reply to FrazzledMama

The AL is what she was talking about, clean and safe. They moved her furniture there.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal

Call Adult Protective Services and open a file on her. Report her as an at-risk senior citizen. No one who lives like she does is mentally healthy. Wherever she winds up, they need to be told that she is not allowed to leave the premises with your brother and why. Take photos of her home and his if you have to and show it to them as proof. Is she living with him or in her home? You said you cleaned and moved furniture in her home so it was clean and safe. Did she mess it up again?
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Ahmijoy

Is your mom still competent, legally? If so, you can't do much about choices she makes. You can call Protective Services and ask them to make an evaluation of the home. Sometimes they can mandate that the house be brought up to a safe standard of living. But until she can't make decisions for herself, she gets to decide where to live. It must be very hard for your family to watch this.
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Reply to Marcia7321