My mom is 80 years old and has mild dementia. She has a caregiver that comes in daily. Mom still lives at home with my brother. Mom hates the idea of someone else being in or near the bathroom when she takes a bath/shower. The caregiver allows my mom to totally bathe herself, but must stay near because my mom has a bad knee. Although we only do complete showers 3 times a week, it normally takes about 30 minutes to talk mom into taking a shower. Any suggestions?
Your mother can sit down and be safe, warm and comfortable, while you wash specific parts of her body and remove clothing only for that area. Personal areas require some moving and twisting, but still can be done while sitting.
The no rinse products don't require any type of rinsing, and just dry w/o leaving any residue. The same situation applies to no rinse shampoo.
I found these products at Walgreens. Check your favorite drugs stores, or contact a local DME supplier.
These previous posts address similar issues of bathing w/o friction, by using the no rinse products.
https://www.agingcare.com/search?term=no+rinse+bath+products
Second, when working with someone with dementia, I do not recommend relying on their compliance with your safety requests because they often forget, especially if you are asking them to change a life long habit. For this reason, I would disable the locking mechanism in the door knob or replace the privacy set with a straight pass through knob like is used on a closet door. If the home already has a pass through set on a closet of laundry room, you can just swap the sets.
Third, to allow the care giver to keep an "ear" out while your mother showers while not having right outside the bath (since this bothers your mother) I recommend using a baby monitor like the VTech DM221-2 Audio Baby Monitor with up to 1,000 ft of Range, Vibrating Sound-Alert, Talk Back Intercom, Night Light Loop & Two Parent Units ($40 on Amazon). I like this monitor set because it has an intercom feature which allows me to respond to my mother from where ever I am, it has a good enough range to still work from my porches and yard, and the two monitor units means I can always have one on a charger while carrying the other.
Fourth, even with a spacious bathroom, it's easier for my mother to undress and dress in her bedroom. We purchased a really soft and absorbent robe. Mom lays out her clean clothes across the bed and then disrobes in her bedroom, puts on that robe for the trip across the hall to the family bath, and returns in that robe after her bath. The clean fresh smelling clothes can be an incentive for taking the bath.
Each dementia patient is different. During one period (about 5 years) we had a real battle to get my father with vascular dementia to bathe once a week. My mother with MCI loves bathing and is no problem. Try to remove as many of the possible challenges of bathing as you can, let your mother see the care giver preparing the bath/clothes/etc for bath, and announce it's bath time as near to the same time as possible each day. Do not ask if she wants a bath or is ready for a bath. Take the attitude that you expect her to take a bath now.
Good Luck!
Why does your mother's having a bad knee mean that she can't have a bath in private? It is not unreasonable for her to be anxious about somebody bursting in on her when she's in the buff.
If your mother will agree
to wear a call button (pendant or wrist watch style) or failing that to keep a handbell or two in the bathroom placed where she can reach them
to leave the door unlocked
to keep a bathrobe or bath sheets handy so that if she needs help she can cover up before calling out
to have a chair positioned discreetly near the bathroom door where the caregiver formally undertakes to sit unless summoned by your mother
to have the bathroom properly equipped with, for example, grab rails and perhaps a shower chair or perching stool
perhaps you can come to terms.