Hey, how's it goin?
I am very intelligent but I do not have the veneration required to be taken seriously by my mother, and the way I've been treated I doubt I'd be shown dignity if I was kind or patient etc. So, clearly I am very frustrated. How do I get my mother to go to therapy and take her medication while I am being ignored while asking, "What [she] mean[s]?" The reason she needs it is because she is forgetting some rather important things and acting very negligent and paranoid. I know I am under the a/effects of her health status and I know there is little I can do. Again, my question is, what can I do to help my mother? Especially with therapy and support?

Your profile says your mother has Alzheimer's/dementia, which would not benefit from talk therapy of any kind. And even if it would, you can't force a person to go to a counselor, nor can you force her to take medication, etc. Unfortunately, right?

As far as your question goes, you would need to get medical POA for your mother before her doctor would agree to speak to you. At the least, get her insurance information & perhaps you can make an appointment. And again, she'd have to consent to GO! The truth is, you can't save a person from herself. Your mother has to be cooperative first in order for you to make ANY headway with her. Most of us had to wait for a catastrophic event to transpire before our folks would agree to be 'managed' in any way by us. Sad but true.

Best of luck
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to lealonnie1

Hi, I am in the same boat right now. My mom is young only 74 and I am at my witts end not knowing what to do. She refuses me at every turn. I have no siblings I can rely on and my dad passed 8 years ago and it's like she has given up life. She lives over an hour from me, refuses to sell her house, is not taking all her meds and will not see a doctor. i have begged, I have cried, i have yelled, I have threatened. I have had others speak to her. I get nothing. i do not know what to do anymore.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to lmc369
Riverdale Feb 23, 2020
What would be ideal is for you to get POA for her. If she refuses and will not discuss this with you then ask her if she wants to continue to age alone with no help. Sometimes it takes some tries and reassurance that you care for her and want to help as life may become more difficult for her over time. Otherwise she is on her own. There are countless stories here about situations such as this. Maybe some of them may help you or at the least make you understand that this is a common dilemma.
I am not sure that you can find a way to get her to go to therapy. If you do find a way, please share how you did because several other posters have the same issue.

Best wishes to you and your mom.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom

Your profile says that your mother has Alzheimer’s and/or fdementia. That often causes people to be resistant to care, lack insight into their condition and even be unable to accept their diagnosis. She may never be able to respond and cooperate the way you want. You might discuss it with her doctor to get guidance, especially, about her medication. Has she appointed a POA and HCPOA? That would help as she’ll need someone to manage her affairs and health care as she progresses. She may no longer be able to understand why she needs therapy and medication.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Sunnygirl1
lmc369 Feb 23, 2020
How do you discuss with her doctor with all the HIPPA laws. I tried to call a doctor for my mom and was told I can not even make an apt for her if I do not have her insurance card or if she is not consenting. How are you accomplishing that?
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