He resists no matter what I suggest. Take a walk, go for a drive in the car, watching something on TV. He sleeps a lot. His PC knows about all this but is unhelpful. Have made an appointment with a geriatric doctor to see what is going on.
The time may be coming when realistically you cannot continue to care for your husband on your own. That may be the sad truth. There is no answer to the end of life care of someone suffering with dementia. In general they become more uncooperative. In general they sleep more, exercise and eat less. I am so sorry. That is all to say you may be seeing an unhappy but "normal" progression. Is there some way to get any in home help as a try?
Other than what is suggested below I would also recommend just using the extra large body wipes on your husband and the waterless shampoo and conditioner caps on those days when you can't get him to shower. Both work great and you can order them on Walmart.com or Amazon. And you may have to do what I had to do with my husband towards the end of his life and that is just brush his teeth for him.
Peggy321, as we get older, taking a shower is like going to the gym. It can be very exhausting. I am in my 70's and both hubby and I are finding showers very tiring. I opt out for a bath, instead. But that can be a challenge standing up in the tub when finished.
For dementia, some people find they don't like the feel of the water hitting their skin when showering. Maybe a different shower head or shower head setting might work.
Some people develop claustrophobia, finding the space too confining. If one has a shower curtain, keep the end side opened a bit. The same for a shower door.
There is also the fear of falling. If one is using moisturizing soap, it can make the tub mat feel slippery. Grab bars help. Try a shower seat.
Could be since your husband is no longer working, he is depressed. I know I was down in the dumps after the business I worked for had closed its doors and here I was only 73.
Yes, another set of eyes such as the geriatric doctor would be quite helpful.
Retirement without purpose is a tough challenge. I didn't know what to do with myself. 12-14 hours days to trying to fill up my days. Whew! Rough going for a bit.
Personally, our family had the good fortune to find a neighbor who was an experienced caregiver and we paid her to come give my Aunt a shower 2x a week. Sometimes it is just helpful to have a "neutral" person to do this task. We started by telling my Aunt therapeutic fibs, like: we are having company today, or we have an appointment today. After a while that didn't work. We also just resigned to the fact that she'll only get showers 2x a week and not more, just to keep her stress level down.
If your husband is agitated or aggressive, then yes this is a conversation to have with his doc to discuss medication.
Is there some way to get any in home help as a try?
And you may have to do what I had to do with my husband towards the end of his life and that is just brush his teeth for him.
For dementia, some people find they don't like the feel of the water hitting their skin when showering. Maybe a different shower head or shower head setting might work.
Some people develop claustrophobia, finding the space too confining. If one has a shower curtain, keep the end side opened a bit. The same for a shower door.
There is also the fear of falling. If one is using moisturizing soap, it can make the tub mat feel slippery. Grab bars help. Try a shower seat.
Could be since your husband is no longer working, he is depressed. I know I was down in the dumps after the business I worked for had closed its doors and here I was only 73.
Yes, another set of eyes such as the geriatric doctor would be quite helpful.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-help-with-bathing-and-personal-hygiene-top-tips-from-caregivers-212010.htm
Personally, our family had the good fortune to find a neighbor who was an experienced caregiver and we paid her to come give my Aunt a shower 2x a week. Sometimes it is just helpful to have a "neutral" person to do this task. We started by telling my Aunt therapeutic fibs, like: we are having company today, or we have an appointment today. After a while that didn't work. We also just resigned to the fact that she'll only get showers 2x a week and not more, just to keep her stress level down.
If your husband is agitated or aggressive, then yes this is a conversation to have with his doc to discuss medication.