I'm the youngest daughter in my family, staying with my 86-year old father due to cognitive short term memory loss and brain damage. We have three caregivers that alternate shifts from a caregiver agency while I'm at work, and then I'm with him the rest of the time unless I get relief from siblings.
When I remind my dad to shower or brush his teeth on weekends and holidays, I'm met with rude behavior including cursing and statements such as "you're my daughter, you don't tell me what to do!!" "You're the baby, you better show me some respect!" (These are super nice statements...he gets really mean). Some weekends, I just let him stay in the same clothes from Friday to Monday because he gets so explosive. Tonight, it was the same thing. I asked him to take his partial out to brush his teeth. I reminded him that it's been four days since he showered, he needed to shower and brush his teeth.
This weekend he has been spitting food particles from his mouth. I suggested he use the Water Pic to get rid of the food lodged in his teeth. It's always the same response, negative and mean. Always saying that I'm controlling his life, disrespectful, and other derogatory things. I feel sometimes like I just want to go home to my husband (which has been so patient and understanding during this ordeal of my being away). My father can't take care of himself though. I have tried to get him into a AL, but he fought me on the subject. I need some advice please. How do I communicate with this man so he understands that he needs to keep up good hygiene? If you have ideas on how to get him to go to the AL, that would be appreciated too.