How do I get my elderly neighbor to leave me alone? She comes over and rings my doorbell 3-4 times every day asking me for various favors.

You are the newest target and the only one she hadn't burned out, that's why you were singled out.

It is okay to tell her that it's unacceptable for her to scream and yell and she won't be seeing you ever if she doesn't stop.

I would call her pastor every single time she has a meltdown with you. If he is seriously working at dealing with this, he needs to know how things are escalating. You can contact the police and ask them to have a chat with her, this might get her the help she so obviously needs.

Please let us know how this resolves, we learn from each other.

Edit: APS does see being able to eat from the microwave as acceptable, so do many people, proven by the frozen microwaveable food sections taking up more space in a grocery store then the fresh food section. People can live anyway they choose, even if that means squalor. What they look for is self neglect, no utilities, no food in the house, obvious confusion. Anything less is seen as managing, which has a very low standard, IMO.

I'm in the UK. Do you have the equivalent of our Social Services in the US? This lady needs more help as her condition will get worse over time and you are not responsible for her. If she is not getting the help she needs, somebody needs to take responsibility for finding that help. Good Luck.

I have an elderly neighbor who (after decades of living a walkable distance away from each other) started coming over in the early mornings and waking me up. Each time, I answered the door. I did so thinking it was something legit or that I was truly needed right then and there. Nope. Trivial stuff. I suspect she's a long-term sufferer of severe anxiety and very self-centered, but getting me out of bed was not going to solve any of that as I suspect it's a lifelong situation to which there may be many other aspects. I had to finally tell her in no uncertain terms that I would not be speaking with her right then about non-emergent things. She did look at me like I was nuts and I questioned whether it was possibly much later in the day than I realized. Nope. Morning. There was no being nice about it- - unfortunately. I have a right to sleep in my own home just as OP has a right to be at home and not be disturbed.

Please call 911 for a 72 hour hold/psych eval if she gets agitated (be sure to video to prove what you're experiencing). If she is calm, please call Adult Protective Services to evaluate irrational behaviors in light of the fact that she lives alone.

Not answering the door is always an option, too!

May 31st the OP posted that she was able to contact the Church and the Pastor took on the responsibility to find this woman help.

In Mysteryshoppers offence...I used to be willing to help and because of my job was well aware of the services available in my County. I found out over the years (I'm 72) that lonely people take advantage. They cling to anyone willing to help. I don't mind helping but I do not want to be relied on for everything they need or want done. And believe me, after you have been taken advantage of a few times, you see the signs. Sometimes it only takes a small act of kindness and they will not let go.

My mantra...I am here to help people find a way, not be the way.

Someone needs to contact social services and request a welfare check. Perhaps her church if they are no longer able to help her.

if she has no family, someone in authority will have to decide how she can be helped.

Pale of water perhaps 🤔

Always answering the door and the phone seems to be a generational thing. I won't answer a phone unless I know who it is, and actually want to talk to them, nor answer a door if it's someone I don't know (aside from delivery drivers).

Cheddarveil: I did see your post from May 31 wherein you stated that this individual's church has reached out.

I know the feeling. I live across the street from a crazy old woman. Yes, I know that sounds cruel, but those adjectives are correct. She is an alcoholic and uses hard drugs. She tore down one neighbor's Christmas decorations with her cane because he wouldn't take her to Publix. She told my husband that he was a bad neighbor because he wouldn't take her to Publix. She broke into a neighbor's car trying to steal it to go to Target (she told the owner that she was going there to get some crack cocaine). Okay this is a long story, so I'll get to the point.

There is nothing you can do except call the police. The police, ambulance, and/or fire department are at her house at least once a week. It all came to a head when she fell in her ditch on her way to somewhere (??). The neighbors call the police; everyone shows up; she comes on to the EMT man; they all laugh. In the past, they take her to the ER; she sobers up; she somehow gets home to do it again.

This last time (maybe two days ago), my husband goes over to talk to the EMT and police officer to complain again about her. I don't go over because I'm tired of it. The EMT and PO say that there is nothing they can do. The Drs release her after she sobers up. Her son says he's trying to get her "committed", but that could be a ruse for my husband to stop calling him everytime the police haul her off.

I'm rambling. Her car was impounded (sp?) because she committed a hit and run while DUI. That only got her a few months in jail. She was released.

Okay...don't answer the door and call the police. I know folks are being nice and saying call her pastor, etc. That's not your job or responsibility. You can only look after yourself. Ignore her.

I did not read all the answers since I'm working, so this may be a repeat. My advice is kind of simple but may work. What about a sign on your front door... something like "At work. Do not disturb." Another thought is to add a front door video camera/microphone. If she knocks anyway, you can either ignore her or just say through the mic-- I'm sorry. I'm at work now and can't talk." If she argues that she needs something, just say "I'm sorry. I can't help now."... then. Put on your headphones and turn up the music so you don't have to listen to the banging.

You know what is sad about this story and MissyEs? That there are two Senior woman who need help and they are not getting it. Really, there something wrong with a person that feels people they really don't know are responsible for their needs. That they destroy property. Trying to break into a strangers car because she wants to go to the store. Help thy neighbor does not mean you take on the responsibility for their care indefinitely.

In these two instances, the neighbors need more care than one person can do. And, without being the person's POA you have no rights. It all could come to bite u in the a**. Some relative could bring charges against you saying you were exploiting this person in some way. No good deed goes unpunished. We allow someone to live with us to get back on their feet. It turns into months and now they are considered a tenant and you have to evict them.

Our world is so different than when the Bible was written. It was small villages back then with small numbers of people living in them. They did for each other so the community would survive. We now need to realize there are just people we cannot help. There has to be some other kind of intervention. So, we should be able to call in people who have the ability to help these poor women. But as we see, the people that have the ability don't use it. Really sad.