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He has been complaining for months about the lack of staff coverage in residents who are veery disruptive and disturbing everyone around them. They belong in a place that can better accommodate them. My Dad is not expert, but he does think they are getting the care that they need . He is very desperate to get out of there but all of the good places are full with long waiting lists. He is having trouble getting assistance from the part-time social worker. He is overwhelmed and is adding to his dilemma by looking for apartments and in-home care. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to get him a good resolution and action plan? I am too emotionally involed to be able to help other than to just be there for him.

Ck his contract in case 30 day notice must be given. Also as my friend said there is no perfect place. Check out diff times of day. Make daily appearance even for minute. Not for loved one but for caregivers to know you care & you may get more care.
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Nhomeresideent Sep 25, 2018
Thank you for the your suggestion. God bless you.
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RoseTerrace, I agree with you. I would much rather be in a small care home than a large facility.

When I read these questions, I always try to look at the “backstory”. I wonder if this gentleman's daughter is suffering from a certain amount of guilt at having to put her father in a facility. I’ve never read on this site any posts where the Loved One was ecstatic about going into a nursing home. Unfortunately, it’s a rude awakening for an elderly person and for their families as well. The population in those facilities is nothing if not diverse; people are angry, delusional and confused. Some as well, like my sweet Miss Dolly where my mom was, was sharp and as sweet as she could have been. It can be quite a shock for someone like OP’s father, who was probably used to his own quiet home, or perhaps his daughter’s home, where his needs were met immediately.

When I taught preschool, I remember one boy who came to my class in January. It was his fourth school since September. The poor child was so confused! He acted out, had no respect for anything or anyone and couldn’t make friends. He left our class in March and Mom wound up keeping him home until the folllwing school year where the process started all over again. No curriculum met Mom’s standards.

I hope this gentleman and his daughter find a great facility for him. It’s definitely a learning experience!
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Nhomeresideent Sep 25, 2018
i did not put him there he put himself there after failed back surgery left him a paraplegic and depressed. The guilt I have is seeing him so unhappy and not being able to fix the problem. He cannot your the places he’s interested in because the transportation (ambulance service) is cost prohibitive. We will solve this. I thank you for your comments. God bless you. Your prayers would be appreciated,
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My first call would be to place a complaint with your county to report the facility. The state may also have a department you could call. SNF’s and AL facilities are inspected by the county they are located in. Complaint calls are something these facilities want to avoid. If you become an habitual complainer they may be anxious to see that your father is placed somewhere else. Your county for the aging may also be able to help you relocate your father. Reach out to any agency or person (physician, minister etc) that can help you find a better place.
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Nhomeresideent Sep 25, 2018
Good suggestion. The nursing home contacted the ombudsman as a preemptive move. But I can contact them to see if they can offer assistance. God bless you. I would appreciate it if you could keep us in your prayers.
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Hello, make an appointment with another nursing home of your choice. When you have your appointment, tour the facility and if its a place you would like your father to move, have them arrange for him to be transferred. I did this my father. Please be careful where you place your parents.
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Nhomeresideent Sep 25, 2018
I am doing this but the good places are full with long waiting lists. My Dad is on the "waiting lists" at 4 facilities but they say they cannot say when he would get to the top of the list. God bless you and keep us in your prayers.
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Other options could be in home care, with services. If you qualify for Medicaid, you may be able to get service free to you. In IA, we have the Elderly Waiver. It will pay for some care, home delivered meals, an emergency button, and respite for non-paid providers that live with the person needing care.
I'm I'm not sure if you or anyone else in your family want to take this on but it could be another option.
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HomecareHouston Sep 24, 2018
I agree with JoyB1618. If your Dad is open to aging at home, then that is your best option. Research a good licensed home care agency, interview with potential caregivers, and set your Dad up for periodic visits at home. One on one quality homecare care tend to yield better results than SNF where the ration of Caregiver to resident is 1:10
Of course there are still very good facilities out there and the key to finding one is research. Do your due diligence so in the end you can have peace of mind.
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I know how Dad feels. My mother’s room was directly across from a very large, very volatile, very loud man who had many anger issues. He had a sound system in his room and would play Motown music so loudly I’m still surprised the walls didn’t crack. And, there were several others in her facility with advanced dementia who exhibited all sorts of odd behaviors. Unfortunately, that and understaffed facilities are the nature of the beast. When you toured this facility, didn’t you notice the behavior of the residents and not enough staff?

Some facilities that we here call “resorts” with a monthly fee to match don’t have many problems like that. But affording them is nearly impossible. In-Home is also cost prohibitive, especially 24/7. If he cannot be left alone, his care will fall to you when the caregiver isn’t there, as would it if he were in an apartment. There is Assisted Living, but if he’s on Medicaid or doesn’t have unlimited funds, that’s cost prohibitive as well.

Now, my dear, I know you love your dad and dislike seeing him so unhappy. However, you need to put your emotions on the back burner and help the guy out. Research group care homes. Sometimes they are listed in the want ads in your local paper. You can also go on Care.com. These homes are usually privately run and have far fewer people than a regular facility. Sometimes, as in my mom’s case, her senior apartment offered a Visiting Nurse every few weeks. However, again, it was independent living. There was no help with ADLs, shopping, cleaning, etc.

You can certainly remove Dad. He’s not being held prisoner. But, before you do, call a Care Conference meeting with the Director of Nursing, the social worker, anyone who has anything to do with Dad’s care. They are obligated to meet with you every three months and you can call a conference at any time. Be calm but speak very frankly with them. Ask if Dad’s room can be moved to a quieter area, perhaps out of the path of the general chaos. But please do understand that any other place he moves may have the same issues.
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roseTerrace Sep 24, 2018
Hello Ahmijoy.

I read your post. Your post is correct. Also, I agree about group homes, or called Adult Family Care Homes or Residential Care Homes. I own an Adult Family Care Home. Care Homes are getting a bad rep right now because just like the assisted living facilities and nursing homes there are some that are not up to par, or have staffing issues, etc. The adult family care homes are in the same boat. Several homes have received deficiency citations.

Don’t count out Adult Family Care Homes, your loved one will receive much more direct care. And the cheapest is not always the best. Not trying to sound like a commercial.

Just like everything else in life, research first.
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