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Dementia getting bad.

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At 96 showering is probably very difficult and takes a lot of energy. She is probably a fall risk and it may not be safe. She will need help. You can ask her if she needs your help. Tell her you would love to assist her. Do not expect her to shower very often. My 85 year old dad only showers once a week, with my help. We have installed bars and a seat in our walk-in shower. I stand by to help.
We bought him adult premoistened wash clothes for daily use. Most days he washes up. I encourage deodorant and have him use a nice cologne.
Falling in the shower at 96 would be fatal. Choose your battles with the elderly. Showering once a week or every 10 days, with sponge bathes in between will be best. Again, she needs help.
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Reply to lauramay
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I was once told by an experienced nurse, if you hand a person a washcloth & they can't wash their face independanly they probably can't do the groin either & may no longer fully understand the shower/washing process. Will get distressed as suddenly WET!! And COLD!!

So wet, soap, rinse nice & quick then the towel to get warm & dry quickly.

A warmed towel or shirt is even better 😁
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Reply to Beatty
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Do not make it a chore..

get in and get out as fast as you can. get it done right.

good luck ... some people do not like their feet touched.
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Reply to MAYDAY
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bed bath... and beyond....

get the essentials clean... and spa day for the rest...

head and shoulders... seem to be the one caretaker likes the most for my LO.

No rinse bath and or shampoo.... Baby wipes work for in between times. or most of the time.

calmospetin.. for the underparts I suppose...

clean fun scents..make it quick short and fun. wash cloths, wipes,
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Reply to MAYDAY
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Some dementia patients have a fear of showers (if the water goes down the drain, will I too?). Some say the water hurts their skin, and that may be a valid sensation for them, how do we know? Some have just forgotten how to shower. I think that is the case with one of my current ladies. She doesn't know what to do with a washcloth when it's handed to her. So...

I distract her with a story and do the bed bath similar to what JuliaRose described above.
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Reply to InHomeCaregiver
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Beatty Aug 15, 2020
You have good insight.
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Dear "Imsotired310,"

You can go to the Alzheimer's Association's Website - www.alz.org. Once there "click" on the "Help and Support" tab, then click on "Caregiving," then "Daily Care" and then under "Activities" is a "Bathing" tab. They have a lot of tips/information that may help you!
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Reply to NobodyGetsIt
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NobodyGetsIt Aug 15, 2020
P.S. My mom has hospice in the memory care unit we moved her to in May and even they can't get her in the shower/bath. They brought a shower chair for her but, they haven't been able to use it. They are giving her bed baths twice a week like "JuliaRose" and "InHomeCaregiver" mentioned.
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This is a common problem! Others have more experience dealing with full dementia patients, but essentially, realize that if you get her to take a shower once a week, you’re doing exceptionally well. The rest of the days (or every other), keep her fresh with a warm wet washcloth.

Can she keep a diary or write on a calendar? Maybe have her record when she takes a shower so she can see it herself. I’m not sure if this would work in practice, but it’s worth a shot.

Another idea: Change the sheets and have her shower the same day, explaining that she has to be clean to get into bed fresh sheets.

If she’s avoiding showering because she doesn’t like getting cold or undressed, address these. Warm up the room. Have her start fully dressed with washing the feet and then convince her to shed more cloths and do what you can.

If it gets bad, just do so called”bed baths.” Fill two buckets with warm water. Get a washcloth for each. One will be for soaping up and the other for rinsing. Then start with one body section at a time, as tolerated. Sometimes I do half of the job one day and finish the rest the next day. If she is itchy and in need of a shower, getting rubbed with washcloths and massaged with lotion feels good. Call it a spa day!
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Reply to JuliaRose
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Imsotired310 Aug 14, 2020
Thank you, I’m going to give it a try!!
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