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I don't think the window's modification is resolution here.
Have your mother evaluated by her doctor. Her lack of judgement places her in a dangerous situation with her mental decline or dementia. If it is either, she has a limited judgement or a broken brain and is unable to live unsupervised. Then it is time to move her out of your place and into senior or memory care for her safety. If not to move into a facility, hire paid caregivers at home. Dementia requires 24/7 care.
Does she have dementia? If so, she shoudn't be living alone. Take control. Do what you need to do. Obviously, she isn't able to do what is in her best interest / welfare.
If she doesn't respect your rules ... does this mean she lives in your home? That is another level / issue. She is also putting your safety in jeopardy. Tell her that she does what you require / request or she'll have to move out. Even if you do not feel it is time for her to move out ... she needs to hear this to know you are serious. And, if she still doesn't abide by your 'house safety rules,' you will have to make a difficult decision and/or lock the windows so they never open. If I had a window facing the street, I wouldn't have them open ANYTIME of the day or night ... not nowadays. It isn't only burglars ... it is a safety measure against bodily harm ... they also 'work' during the days.
Whatever you do, you MUST make a decision erring on the side of caution / safety. Do not wait for something awful to happen and think "why didn't I ...?"
Your mother probably isn’t trying to be disrespectful. She either likes the fresh air or the cool air having the window open brings in. Try talking with your mother and having her be involved in a creative solution. Such as an ac in the room or an air purifier. Just as we are set in our ways so are our parents and they like to feel involved. It’s hard for our aging parents who have lived alone in their own homes to have to move in with their kids. Sometimes they feel like more of a burden then part of the family. . .
You (are projecting / ) do not know what the mother is 'thinking' or if she has full capacity to think clearly. If she has dementia, talking logic won't matter.
The air purifier might be a really good idea.
Dealing with aging parents is hard, draining, difficult. Family must do what is in the best interest of safety for all concerned. Gena
Maybe find an article in the paper showing burglary - Altho that may scare her I’d just have a geveral conversation be at her place and leave d to get a call cone back saying your friend has been robbed and they got in through her open window and Leave it to her to think about - say your friend was lucky the burglar ran when he saw her and you have to leave early to go see her as she’s in a state that should do it or ethical but hey ho id mother won’t listen and it’s her safety time to get creative
*When I 1st moved to CA in the 90s, I noticed houses had windows with iron bars. I didn't grow up seeing that. But, many were really nice..ones with elegant designs & then there were ones in the hood:-/ but no1 could break in. Maybe get something like that.. drill it on from the inside & she can't touch the window. Or, those clamp things where you can undo it/clamp it back...& she won't have the strength to do it. 'Hope it works out for you!:)
I had this problem with uncle in my home in California too. Very expensive but invested in stainless steel screens and screen doors with emergency release from inside. Lucky I was still working to pay! But now I don’t worry about it. Good luck!
Bars, but then in an emergency, with a fire in the rest of the house or something else dangerous, she wouldn't have the window for an exit. Unless the bars would pop out in an emergency, but in that case, she could pop them off any time she's feeling ornery.
IMO, she needs to live somewhere else. This isn't working and may never work. Multigenerational living is awful.
There are screens that can be installed that can not be cut through. This would be one way or getting bars installed on the windows.
You can go to a hardware store and ask about child proof window locks, they go on the frame and stop the windows from opening past them. You can put them on top of the frame so they are less obvious.
There are lots of solutions for keeping windows open but not far enough for someone to climb through.
thank you for your answer. I've come to realize that one solution won't work and we have to be continually creative. We installed the window lock on top of the frame, as you suggested and so far she hasn't figured it out.
If mom is living in your house then it is "your house, your rules". You are paying for heat or AC so you are within your rights to keep the windows closed. As well as the safety aspect. If you are not concerned about the heat or AC you could nail a block of wood a few inches up so that the window can only open a few inches. This would allow her to open the window but not allow anyone to get in if that is your concern. (It is a problem if this window is classified an an egress window though) If a burglar truly wants to get in a window is not going to stop them. If mom has dementia she is not going to remember that she has to keep the window closed. And she is not going to understand the reason why. I get it I often go to bed and leave all the windows in the house open. (Occasionally I have accidently left the front door open as well🤦♂️) Even if mom does not have dementia I am sure she grew up in a time and or place where it was more common to leave windows open.,
If she does not follow your rules or respect what you have asked of her it might be time to sit her down and say if she does not comply with your requests you can schedule some tours of Assisted Living or Independent Living communities.
If your mom doesn't respect your rules than perhaps it's time that she find a place of her own to live. You don't give us any info as to why your mom is living with you to begin with, so it's hard to give you any kind of good answer. Can you move her to a back bedroom that doesn't face the street, or is it because she is too hot and wants some fresh air? If it's the latter, does she have air-conditioning in her room or at least a good fan? And God forbid she has any kind of dementia, because then you will never get her to understand the need for her to keep the windows closed. More info would be really helpful.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Have your mother evaluated by her doctor. Her lack of judgement places her in a dangerous situation with her mental decline or dementia. If it is either, she has a limited judgement or a broken brain and is unable to live unsupervised. Then it is time to move her out of your place and into senior or memory care for her safety. If not to move into a facility, hire paid caregivers at home. Dementia requires 24/7 care.
If so, she shoudn't be living alone.
Take control. Do what you need to do.
Obviously, she isn't able to do what is in her best interest / welfare.
If she doesn't respect your rules ... does this mean she lives in your home?
That is another level / issue. She is also putting your safety in jeopardy.
Tell her that she does what you require / request or she'll have to move out.
Even if you do not feel it is time for her to move out ... she needs to hear this to know you are serious. And, if she still doesn't abide by your 'house safety rules,' you will have to make a difficult decision and/or lock the windows so they never open. If I had a window facing the street, I wouldn't have them open ANYTIME of the day or night ... not nowadays. It isn't only burglars ... it is a safety measure against bodily harm ... they also 'work' during the days.
Whatever you do, you MUST make a decision erring on the side of caution / safety. Do not wait for something awful to happen and think "why didn't I ...?"
Gena / Touch Matters
The air purifier might be a really good idea.
Dealing with aging parents is hard, draining, difficult.
Family must do what is in the best interest of safety for all concerned. Gena
I’d just have a geveral
conversation
be at her place and leave d to get a call
cone back saying your friend has been robbed and they got in through her open window
and Leave it to her to think about - say your friend was lucky the burglar ran when he saw her and you have to leave early to go see her as she’s in a state
that should do it
or ethical but hey ho
id mother won’t listen and it’s her safety time to get creative
But, many were really nice..ones with elegant designs & then there were ones in the hood:-/
but no1 could break in. Maybe get something like that.. drill it on from the inside & she can't touch the window.
Or, those clamp things where you can undo it/clamp it back...& she won't have the strength to do it.
'Hope it works out for you!:)
IMO, she needs to live somewhere else. This isn't working and may never work. Multigenerational living is awful.
I like the window screens, that way nobody can even see the window is open.
You can go to a hardware store and ask about child proof window locks, they go on the frame and stop the windows from opening past them. You can put them on top of the frame so they are less obvious.
There are lots of solutions for keeping windows open but not far enough for someone to climb through.
You are paying for heat or AC so you are within your rights to keep the windows closed. As well as the safety aspect.
If you are not concerned about the heat or AC you could nail a block of wood a few inches up so that the window can only open a few inches. This would allow her to open the window but not allow anyone to get in if that is your concern. (It is a problem if this window is classified an an egress window though)
If a burglar truly wants to get in a window is not going to stop them.
If mom has dementia she is not going to remember that she has to keep the window closed. And she is not going to understand the reason why. I get it I often go to bed and leave all the windows in the house open. (Occasionally I have accidently left the front door open as well🤦♂️)
Even if mom does not have dementia I am sure she grew up in a time and or place where it was more common to leave windows open.,
If she does not follow your rules or respect what you have asked of her it might be time to sit her down and say if she does not comply with your requests you can schedule some tours of Assisted Living or Independent Living communities.
You don't give us any info as to why your mom is living with you to begin with, so it's hard to give you any kind of good answer.
Can you move her to a back bedroom that doesn't face the street, or is it because she is too hot and wants some fresh air? If it's the latter, does she have air-conditioning in her room or at least a good fan?
And God forbid she has any kind of dementia, because then you will never get her to understand the need for her to keep the windows closed.
More info would be really helpful.