Mom's primary care doctor says she needs to go to a psychiatrist. How do I get her there?

Wow, capn, you must have had some bad experiences along the way. I know someone who is bipolar. When he takes the medicines as prescribed by his psychiatrist he is still bipolar. He is still disabled as far as working full time goes. But he is functional. He can interact normally with friends and family. He has some compulsive behaviors but he is aware of them and can, with gentle hints, keep them under control. He can sleep a reasonable number of hours most nights. When he does not take the medicines prescribed by his psychiatrist, he is often either manic or depressed. He can't sleep. He can't shut up. He can't interact normally with other people. He does self-destructive things (including one suicide attempt). I guess you can see why I have a different view of psychiatric drugs than you do.

After landing on his head on a concrete floor when falling off a ladder, my husband was hospitalized for 5 weeks. He did recover fully ... except for a vague lethargy and disinterest in life. A wonderfully caring psychiatrist prescribed an anti-depressant. Far from drugging him into a stupor, this gave him back his zest for life and literally gave me back the man I had married, for ten years. (He continued on anti-depressants after he developed dementia.)

Through my support group activities I have known several caregivers whose loved ones had their anxiety and combative behavior greatly reduced through the use of carefully selected drugs. Not one of them ever wound up as wards of the state. Nobody depleted their assets. Their quality of life was improved as they were calmer and able to continue living at home, attending an adult day care program, and otherwise functioning at the best level the disease allowed.

I don't believe in over-medicating, in medicating for the convenience of the facility, or for throwing drugs at a problem willy-nilly. But from experience and observation, I am very grateful that drugs for treating mental health symptoms are available.

There are some bad, useless psychiatrists out there, but the right medication can improve someone's quality of life. If they give you a pill and after a few weeks it makes you feel worse, you can stop taking it. People stop taking their medication all the time! I also know of two cases where the pills made the person happier, more alive, and much nicer to be around.
Better living through chemistry.

Hey Capn, if you found the information on the internet it must be true, right? LOL.

my mom wont see a phsyc and im understanding of her reasoning. drugging someone into a stupor could easily be the beginning of the end of their QOL if not life.. sedation would be catastrophic for someone already suffering from depression too, imo.. moms already a certified nutcase. lethargy and brain fog would not be good for her. a phsyc is also a brisk step towards becoming a ward of the county or state and losing all self determination. he could drug her out while attorneys and an appointed conservator help themselves to her assets.

My MIL had been calling the police quite a bit before she finally had an awful hallucination of bloody people being in her house and refusing to leave. She ran out of the house calling for help and neighbors called the police.

The police called and ambulance and they took her to the ER where she was assessed and the county mental health person was contacted. The mental heath person contacted MIL's sister and the two of them arranged a meeting at MIL's house for the next day. She trusted her sister and between the three of them they decided it would be best for MIL to have some more testing done at a local geriatric unit. I don't know if they told her it was a psych unit or not. They packed some things for the hospital stay and her sister drove her to the hospital.

We had never attempted to have a psychiatrist examine her before that day as the family members did not agree about their mother having dementia.

Did the primary care doctor rule out acute illness for this sudden change in behaviors? For example, was she checked for a uti?

I think I would make an appointment for Mom and be evasive about the exact nature of it. You are taking her to a specialist her primary doctor referred her to. There may be a long and detailed form to fill out, and I suggest you do it based on your observations. She will probably have a long interview with a psychiatric nurse and then a short interview with a psychiatrist. If there is some medication that would reduce her anxiety and paranoia, that would be a good thing, right? And if the diagnosis is dementia, that is a worth knowing about so a care plan can be put in place.

If Mom's "only" strange behavior now is focused on her lawn, then figuring out how to deal with that while not making her more anxious is worthwhile. The advice the mental health person gave you is pretty standard. Mom "knows" what is happening in her yard. That is her reality. It is irrational and you will not be able to reason her out of it. It is often more effective to go along with at least her feelings and to redirect her to other topics. "Bugs on your trash can, Mom? That is disgusting. No wonder you are upset. Are they still there? I'll clean them off with the hose. Why don't you get out some cookies and lemonade for us while I am doing that?" "Someone is taking rocks out of the driveway? Well, I have to say the flower beds look very neat. We just need to be sure the driveway doesn't deteriorate. I'll inspect it every time I come over, and if there is a problem we'll nip it in the bud. I love how the border flowers seem to frame the flower bed. What are they called, again?" If she comes up with something new every day at least you won't have to follow up on taking care of anything.

@ jeanne,
yea i probably read too much. ive been reading about how crooked judges in conjunction with crooked phsyc, doc, aps, institutions are seizing control of elders and their assets. i have no doubt that it happens considering that elders hold about 75 % of the nations wealth.
my mom has ended up needing haldol to control her hallucinations and delusions so my first post was based on poor information and my own paranoia.