How do I get my mom to a doctor for an evaluation?

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I'm at a loss and looking for some guidance. My mom recently got into a car accident where she backed out of our driveway, thought the car was in drive and proceeded to hit the gas and back into our tree on the other side of our property. But even after this incident, both my parens continued to bicker and my mom continued to accuse my dad of cheating on her. These accusations have created a lot of tumultuous moments where my dad loses his temper, cops are called etc. And to add to this, I naively agreed to them to watch our infant. I hoped that the kids may sway them, maybe take my mom's mind off of her obsession but it hasn't worked and now they got into a car accident. I've pleaded with her to see a doctor for her hearing (because half the time she doesn't appear she is even paying attention to me when we are having a conversation), to her primary (especially after her accident) and for the fact she is not sleeping properly (she claims the neighbors are making noise all hours of the night and is convinced the woman neighbor and my dad are trying to kill her). The last one on top of her accusations of infidelity make me think she my have dementia but she refuses to see a doctor. She has historically stayed up all night because of noises at her new residence and her old house. She routinely claims her car has been tampered with. With this accident, she tried to insinuate someone messed with her brakes (her brakes worked just fine). This time I told her for the safety for our children she needs to see a doctor and I was thrown a bunch of insults and her pretty much telling me she does not want to help us out anymore.


I have a feeling I am in for a rough road both for my mom and dad. My dad at least was checked out by a doctor and was examined for dementia and the doctor does not think he has it (Although I tend to disagree with this). Is this normal for adults in their 70's? I feel like I'm in the twilight zone dealing with them. And any ideas on how to get my mom to see the docs and get checked would be a great help. Thanks in advance!

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Maybe uti, dementia, mental illness or a combination. Classic signs of dementia. Get here to doc for exam if you can. In any event, I wouldn't leave kids (infant?) with her and the driving should end.
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Elctrcldyland, when was the last time your Mom was checked for a Urinary Tract Infection? Such an infection can make an elder act out, angry, delusional. This infection is treated with antibiotics.
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Your Mom telling you she won't help you with the kids anymore because you think she is ill/incompetent is one of the WISEST things she could say! You don't want your children bring "helped" by her, dementia or not. She's angry and delusional. Don't do it, just say no. Read the book Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud.

From what I can tell, the best action is to report her to the driver license office of suspected dementia and detail these accidents. The form should be on the web- search by state. This form should trigger an investigation which may trigger an office visit to her doc for an exam or may require ger to come in for a driving test, depending on your state.

Other than that, stay out of the way, don't visit when you cannot leave, don't bring the kids, and don't ever ask her to watch the kids again, even if that means you have to pay real money for childcare. Your children don't deserve to be yelled at or crashed in the car by her. When she is obviously sick/injured from anything that requires a hospital visit, the docs can be asked to keep her for a geriatric mental health evaluation.

PS. So sorry for the previous spelling errors. My internet went completely out after I posted and I normally edit my response afterwards. 
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Elctrcldylnd, I am moving your post back to the front page. Hopefully a caregiver with a similar experience can help you.
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