I am 38, a stay at home Mom with a young child. I am my Mother's only child. We moved across the street from her and my stepfather a year ago to be closer to them. My Mom's mental state has been in decline for 10 years now at least. My Mother has not had an easy life. Lots of family addiction issues. Caring for an alcoholic mother and brother. Her father was robbed and murdered in 1980, never solved. 3 marriages. Her sister died sick and alone in 2000 because she hid her illness from the family. She said I was a wonderful child, but I was hell on her as a teenager and young adult. I made terrible decisions and she was always helping me get back on my feet/out of trouble. I was living with my Father in 2010 and caring for him near the end of a long battle with cancer. I had recently divorced and my mom was helping me care for dad. Then my stepfather had an abdominal aortic aneurysm and nearly died. He had major surgery and spent weeks in a hospital out of town. A couple of weeks after he returned home, my father passed away. My Mom decided to come stay with me as I was living in his house alone now. My Granny (Her Mom) also lived in a cottage on the property so it made sense for Mom to be there, despite her also needing to take care of her husband. It was a lot. My Granny had been showing cognitive decline for many years and refused treatment or examination of any kind. We gave up when we realized we couldn't force her to talk to a doctor if she didn't want to, And so it went. After my Dad passed, it was like my Granny could not and would not process it. It broke her. She would ask me every day how he was feeling and if he was coming to eat supper. She did odd things like throwing the coffee maker in the trash and then claiming she couldn't find it. Finally one day, I saw her standing at the kitchen sink completely nude, mid-day. I went in to help her and she was completely unaware of what was going on. It was only days after that incident that she stopped walking at all and became incontinent. We moved her over to my Dad's house in his old wheelchair so that we could care for her. My Mom retired from work. I worked full-time and helped her when I was home. She did contact hospice to at least get some help caring for Granny. It was a daunting job. Some days she knew us, others she didn't. Some days she was sweet, others she was cursing. She withered and declined for 2 years in that same bedroom that my Dad died in, eventually not speaking, eating, or drinking. It was so hard for me do deal with, that I don't even have words to describe it. She was the only Grandparent I'd ever known and I loved her dearly. It hit my Mother much harder though. Although her younger brother is still alive, he has severe alcohol induced dementia and lives in a home almost two states away. So, I'm sure losing her Mother felt like losing the last of her family unit. So, My Mom's mental decline has been years in the making and she suffers from anxiety and depression on top of it. She refuses to see any doctors, neglects self care, has let her teeth basically rot out, has poor nutrition despite my efforts to help her. She stopped taking all of her medications months ago and has had bouts of a "stomach ache" that keeps her from eating. She is down
to 103 pounds and I am very worried for her. My step-dad has his own health issues, but worrying about her and living with her irrational and paranoid behavior is driving him mad. He is terribly depressed and has no clue what to do. Their house is a complete wreck, but she won't let me come to clean or do anything. Oh, and yes, she has a mild hoarding issue too. Stuff piled everywhere. She very begrudgingly allows me to grocery shop for them due to Corona virus, but she doesn't really understand why I'm doing it. She has ZERO touch with the real world. Just the television, my step-dad, me and my son. I have to take him to visit her on the front porch, she won't even come across the street to see us.