How do I get my Mom (92), with dementia, to move into assisted living?

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Mom drinks beer everyday and is very difficult to deal with. Hell bent on not moving and says no one can make her move. Nephew lives in the home with her and is her caregiver. She gets around well but doesn't want to bathe or leave the home often. Home paid for, very mean. I am guardian and conservator

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You should check your guardianship papers. You should sell her house and put her into csre. Nephew can fend for himself. Serve him with eviction papers.
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I am her legal guardian and conservator. She can't remember something you have told her 2 mins ago. My nephew buys her a beer everyday because if he doesn't she threatens to put him out of her home or she will stand in the door and wait until one of the guys in the neighboorhood comes by and ask them to go to the store for her. This is why I want to move her. It is a problem to me when I am the one that has been robbed at gun point in front of her home at night. My nephew complains but really doesn't have anyplace else to go.
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You state that you are her guardian. I believe this means she has been declared incompetent and you are in charge of where she lives, also liable for her well-being. That would put a different slant on the story? Or do you simply have POA?
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You have to get the assistance of nephew off her. Why you really want to take her into assisted living? For me I don't think she is causing much problem to you, nephew should be the one complaining. If he is having problems he can move out and she has to go to an assisted living. My father is now living in a assisted living in Vancouver, Prestige Care, as we had to move to AZ because of my work, and we were the only support for her.
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As long as she owns her home and has live in caregiver, she is correct. You cannot make her move. But if nephew moves out, or she is hurt, the situation changes. But the nephew cannot just abandon her. He has to give notice and follow the laws in order to leave. But you will have to get doctors and social authorities involved.

Is she drinking the beer because she likes it, or is she drinking it just because it is in the fridge and she isn't aware that she is drinking beer, not just a beveridge that tastes good to her? As freqflyer asked, who is buying the beer?
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It sounds like she is passed qualifying for assisted living. My 91 yo MIL lives in one and they are pretty independent. Certainly, there is no drinking allowed - although the rooms have a mini fridge and no one would question one or two.

I think you are looking at a nursing home and they will handle the bathing problem.
My mother complies after years of refusing. She is 96. We had to wait until she fell and then, could no longer live alone.

Of course, alcoholism makes all of your problems 2 fold. Good luck.
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She is difficult to deal with. I assume her nephew has to deal with her the most. Is he hoping she'll move into a care center so he can get on with his life? Or is he content with the situation as it is?

Does the beer contribute to the difficulties? How much is she drinking each day?

Would her doctors agree that she is not competent to make her own decisions? If she can be declared incompetent and you became her guardian then you could probably "make" her move. But short of that (which is a court case) you may not be able to force the issue.
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Pepper, your Mom isn't going to move because she has a live-in caregiver, so why should she give that up. As for the beer, is she driving herself to the store and buying it? Otherwise, how does it wind up in the house? The nephew?

Another way to have an elder who has memory issues to move to a continuing care facility, unfortunately, is through a medical emergency, such as a bad fall or an illness. Then the elder goes from the ER into the hospital, and then into assisted living.

Maybe it is time for the nephew to move on, or his he dependent on your Mom as she is on him? Is he employed? Could he afford to move to a place of his own?
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Oh boy......this sounds like my dad. I'll be facing this soon and I know I will have to trick him somehow and maybe even get physical. You cannot reason with the dementia so any thoughts of talking her into this are futile. One scenerio I have discussed with the local al I'll be using is to tell him his ole buddie so and so lives over there. He wants you to come see him. The al folks have used this one and many other therapeutic lies to get people in the door. If you get her in she's gonna raise ten kinds of h*ll but she'll live and settle in eventually .
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